“Why would we want Jesus over Tom?" -Bill Simmons

I thought so. But at the time, I also thought mirrored sunglasses, Motley Crue, and Porsche 911's were cool too.

I had this:

All I have to offer is that my dad saw him in a restaurant in NYC and mentioned it to me for the sole purpose of telling me that he’s not very tall. “But we both already knew that,” I said. “Still,” said my dad, who thinks a lot of Russell Wilson.

I had this on my wall in 7th & 8th grade

Lawyer: We’re going to get to the bottom of this.

I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

Ooh. He’s getting handjobs from a broad who let Tiger Woods use her asshole as a spittoon. Impressive.

Hey, nothing wrong with an old fashioned every once in a while.

GOD DAMNIT +1

Molly on the other hand..

Wes Welker then went home and gave a similar interview to his desk lamp.

The other night, I told my friends, “You know what, I am going to make a real, conscious effort to give the WNBA a chance this year.” After half a quarter, the score was 10-6, and I decided to watch much better female ball handlers on xHamster.

What do you mean, gone? The WNBA is celebrating its 20th season!

I don’t have to live like that.

That's why Robert Horry is second best player of all time right?

Implying that Horry was as responsible for his six rings as Kobe was for his five is almost as bad as the original post.

Edit: Seven. My bad.

Ah, cool, now post a photo of Robert Horry smiling with the larger number of championship trophies he’s won.

I am not even a Kobe fan, but any stat that says Steve Francis was better than him in 2001 needs to be permanently banished from the stat universe.

That’s weird how many years LeBron was #1, yet how few of those years he was NBA Champion. Maybe these numbers mean less than rings to some.