I want to know why wonderful stories like this don’t make the Darwin Awards. People who smoke pot are the dregs of society and should be removed from us. Nothing warms my heart more than to hear of one of those losers dying in this manner. Your story made my day!

Dude Where’s My Car-eer?

I wish I cared about anything in my life as much as Gordon does about getting stoned.

The hat combined with how he talks reminds me of every piece of shit I run into at townie bars that are “Just about to start at community college” every time you see them.

Jesus, look at him and listen to him. If he wasn’t Johnny Manziel, the bouncer at the club would tell him to keep walking.

That’s $74 million right there . . .

I don’t know if I’d say either one of those things. I’d say you’re looking at someone that used to be sorta-hot, now smack dab in the middle of “mom bod”, well on her way to obesity. She’s persian, it’s the way of her people.

Mom wears the hat like a 10 year-old boy. WTF?

Who says USC isn’t an elite educational institution?????

I hope that one of these notifications is someone saying “Hey, Jeffrey you punched a woman in the face. Shut the fuck up for awhile. And don’t punch women in the face.”

Glad the important thing here is striking home for you.

Your dad thinks of you when he drinks.

Your wife cheats on you with men like me :-)

They need to punch up the stories since the Hulkster won his case.

I’m new to poor journalism. And I’m new to dealing with beta males. So, in that effect, yes, I may be new to gawker. These writers are fucking idiots.

WTF? You didn’t “almost killed me”. That title is the writer’s equivalent of being an attention whore. Fuck man, get a grip.

Everyone has a picture of your ex-wife, beta . . .

Oh great, let’s bring in all the “bracket experts” that can’t name any starters, but can tell you exactly why you should put a hundo on Bakersfield . . .

I agree with you in principle. But to be accurate, most UFC fighters have tattoos and that makes them sub-human, pieces-of-shit as far as I’m concerned. McGregor is the face of UFC? You have your whole business riding on a tattooed midget???