Jerry Jones went to bed at 3 a.m. the next morning and woke up three hours later. He told the first six people he saw that he didn’t do enough for Lynch.

You don’t make any sense, son. Put down the bong.

I want to know why wonderful stories like this don’t make the Darwin Awards. People who smoke pot are the dregs of society and should be removed from us. Nothing warms my heart more than to hear of one of those losers dying in this manner. Your story made my day!

“Only” being drunk in that video would be the *best* case scenario. The non-sensical speech, the slow eyelids, the fidgeting with the hat - the kid is on drugs, very little doubt about that.

That’s $74 million right there . . .

Mom wears the hat like a 10 year-old boy. WTF?

Your dad thinks of you when he drinks.

Yeah, I could afford to lose a few pounds. But really, the sizing on some of these shirts is just insane. I don’t know a lot of people out there that can fit into event their XL sizing. Ridiculous.

Yeah, I could afford to lose a few pounds. But really, the sizing on some of these shirts is just insane. I don’t…

It’s nice to see that Yakov Smirnoff is finding work again . . .

Everyone has a picture of your ex-wife, beta . . .

Yes, they are. Was something in my statement not clear to you?

I love that last picture, the guard in the red: “You got knocked the fuck out!!!”

I agree with you in principle. But to be accurate, most UFC fighters have tattoos and that makes them sub-human, pieces-of-shit as far as I’m concerned. McGregor is the face of UFC? You have your whole business riding on a tattooed midget???

I think “attractive” is a relative term here. I don’t think any of the three are worth a damn in the looks department. Calling Rousey attractive is like calling the 80s-era East German Olympics team “feminine”.

A “heel”??? What is this, an I Love Lucy episode??? Dude, wake up, its 2016

1 - he was only picking cities he could read and pronounce

“He did sex on . . .”

No, dude, you got that wrong. His whole texting scandal was about him sending pics of this tiny boy di . . . oh, wait, I see what you did there . . .

Toodles??? LOL. Hey beta, your wife cheats on you with men like me.

I’m sorry that not all of us settle for average. I expect my wife to have decorum and class at all times. I know those concepts are foreign to you, but nice try anyways, son. I’m sure your wife feel protected and cared for when you’re wearing you’re favorite flip-flops . . .