Hopefully a new precedent will be set, as this suit sounds like a pretty big deal;

It was assault with a deadly cellphone.

I hope the President knows how much his presence is inconvienceing the Queen.

I went to an American McDonalds a few weeks ago. There was nothing vegetarian at all. The cashier offered me a Big Mac without the burger. Is that normal? In the UK there are usually a few things I can eat, and in India there were loads. I couldn’t quite believe it.

I don’t get it. Are they supposed to look bigger? I can’t see much of a difference in size. Is there some other, new way in which my mouth is inadequate? I feel so behind the times.

Okay folks, it’s time for another round of “No, That’s Not a Thing.”

No wonder their guacamole is so damned lame. Proper guacamole needs a FUCK TON of lime juice, and a similar FUCK TON of cilantro (haters to the left). Also sea salt, finely diced grape tomatoes, and a hefty dose of cumin (powder, not whole seeds).

Exactly what I was thinking.

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Working title: The Blade

Maybe you weren’t a preteen when he was a handsome young prince, as I was. But I did get a chuckle at the suggestion that my standards are narrow because a blue-eyed, blond white man no longer fits them, so thanks for that.

Shallow, but: my inner child is crushed by how unattractive Prince William has become.

Bananas, plantains and avocados, and the sheer number of times some asshole has informed me that “you just don’t like ethnic food” or (the reason I ate for free at On The Border for the entire tenure of the manager that was dating my cousin) “don’t be such a bitchbaby about a little guacamole, it’s not that…

I think you should blur the phone number ASAP. This child does not need strangers from the internet calling her.

Isn’t this how they communicate?

Someone asked last week why the Mall Makeover series even exists, suggesting that these are inherently uninteresting. THIS right here is more than enough justification for this to exist (just to be clear, I love this series and enjoy every single article).

I was sent home from the 1st grade (1 year older than this girl) because I wore shorts and a halter to school. They didn’t say anything to me but they told my mother I was “distracting to the boys.” The boys of course were also six years old. The idea of 6-year-olds lusting at the site of bare skin still kind of…

Who the fuck sexualizes a 5-year-old, much less spaghetti straps on a 5-year-old?!

Love him! My 17 year old daughter wore a dress with spaghetti straps yesterday and when a school administrator told her to cover up she asked him if her shoulders were turning him on. She's a sassy thing and I love it.