Lots of women say they suck at things as a means of either being charming or as a way of making others feel at ease about themselves. I used to say it frequently, even though I never meant it most of the time, when I wanted others to feel better. Example: "Oh Nice Person, you made a mistake? Don't worry about it, I…

IDRIS!

NOOOOOOOOOOO. How's that for all caps?!? No, I seriously can't accept this. Guess I have to get on the tumblr thingy all the kids are using now, huh? And do the tweeter thingamajig? Best of luck — I enjoy you so much!

Finally, the first legitimate chance that Pissing Contest could win Pissing Contest.

Ve haff vays aaf making you come.

I remember that one!

Me me me! In fact, I think one of the first Jezebel articles I ever read was the one she wrote as Slut Machine about doing cocaine and having sex with that guy at the AVN awards in Las Vegas. Oh, how times have changed.

Comment of the day damned.

I think VICE actually put out the best article about this whole Fappening issue:

I wonder how many of those dudes advising women to never take nude photos of themselves would call their girlfriend a prude bitch if they requested nude photos of her and she said no.

Kind of knew this was coming and still genuinely sad to hear the news. Unapologetic, badass, SURVIVOR. She came back from Carson. She came back from her husband's suicide and a damn near empty bank account. She came back from the haters time and time again. She owned her surgeries, the pressure she felt as a woman,…

That sounds so beautiful

I'm horrified by the fact that cilantro came in at number two for Cali. You treacherous bitches.

The Tea Partiers I know are awesome at the talk but completely suck at the walk. They don't save for retirement, but bitch about Social Security. They get pissy every time they have to pay for anything medical that their employer-underwritten insurance doesn't cover. They whine about every penny they pay in taxes,…

"I know Barry at Burger King. Always makes it my way. I'm big time stuff there!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

"This is my acting face."

Queen Of England Is Old Lady, Believes Things That Old Ladies Believe

Look, dinosaurs don't get to complain about how the tourists gawk at them when they come out on display.