Of all the absurdity in that email, the french manicure edict stuck out the most. Like, NO. I was in a sorority 10 years ago, and even back then no one was getting french manicures, and certainly not for rush. Also, OH GOD I'M REFERRING TO COLLEGE AS BACK THEN OH GOD.

I have some wonderful, lovely friends from Alabama, but none of them live there anymore.

They ignore it because it's not going to make them richer or more powerful. The end.

Oh my god, so spot on about red states. We take SO MUCH MONEY because our policies fuck over poor people and make it damn near impossible to get out of poverty if you're born into it, but we scream and scream and scream about NOT TAKING GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS. Georgia takes, I believe, the third highest amount* of…

Oh my god, so spot on about red states. We take SO MUCH MONEY because our policies fuck over poor people and make it damn near impossible to get out of poverty if you're born into it, but we scream and scream and scream about NOT TAKING GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS. Georgia takes, I believe, the third highest amount* of…

Also, Pride and Prejudice is hilarious. I think it's so funny, like, laugh out loud funny in parts. Mr. Collins is Michael Scott if Michael Scott were a clergyman and not a paper sales manager.

I need to go back and re-read that. I read it on my own in high school, and I'm certain I missed just an absolute shit ton of stuff.

I used to not be too into Emily Dickinson, but in college I sort of got stuck in this long-ass course about feminist poetry, starting with Dickinson, and it was like I was reading her with a brand new pair of eyes. Now I'm a big ol' fan, but I don't think I'd have changed my opinion without that class.

OH MY GOD I KNOW. Like, their fit models must be 5'4" or something. I'm 5'10" and I have just given up on their dresses because the waist will always, always hit up at my rib cage.

I thought that was ... the only possible interpretation of 500 Days of Summer ... Did I miss something? Like, I thought that was super obvious.

I have a cat named Chicken. She purrs sometimes. That's basically the same, right?

My boyfriend loves Chris Pratt. My boyfriend also loves Fireball. Please no one tell my boyfriend that Chris Pratt loves Fireball.

My parents live in San Diego and they put these thermal fleece sheets on the bed I use when I visit and I'm like, IT'S SAN DIEGO USE NORMAL SHEETS.

As an Atlantan whose commute is 1.3 miles - I didn't even get through the end of Blank Space on my ride in today! life is hard! - I apologize for my commuter privilege. I have the best commute ever in the shittiest traffic city in the nation.

Haha, they're like two miles apart. If we're being technical, my sister works in Irvine and lives in Santa Ana.

I mean, the only problem with that is having to live in Irvine.

Yep. Seen several Noras and Coras, too, which bums me out because I loved loved loved Nora from Pete's Dragon. Not that I'm having children, but I need a solid stock of names for my future cats! I mean, I can have waaaaaaay more cats than kids anyway, so I need a bunch.

Don't ever expect originality from Blake.

That's the only reason I think it might be a hoax - wouldn't you steer clear of stealing the baby name of the dude the whole internet thinks you boned while he was married?

No matter how pretty the name, pretty sure I'd make sure not to name my first kid the same thing as the dude who the entire internet thinks I had an affair with. I'd be giving so much side-eye if I were Jennifer Garner.