In a world where unprovable religious beliefs are given precedence over facts and hard data, the best defense is to simply do what they do and make shit up to advance your political agenda.

My five-turning-six year old got one as an early birthday present this weekend and, as an Ariel obsessive, she loves it.

Same for my 6 year old. She also has one to wear in the bath.

sir, it looks like you’re pregnant.

anyone who thinks this car is ugly needs to take a good hard look at the market right now. mazda is killing the design game right now.

To my friends in the East, currently under the Shadow...your friends in the West have not forgotten you. And we are coming.

Uh, OK Katie, no need to be rude now.

Aw, damn. As much as I despise Mike Pence’s policies, I can’t help but feel badly for anyone who just lost their pet.

“She did bubble wrap the legs of all the furniture in his apartment so he wouldn’t stub his toe.”

“The key is that I’m the king and every queen should support the king.”= Automatic grounds for divorce.

There is nothing sane about the behaviors you just described.

Wow. That is really, really bad. I thought maybe it was an infirmity. For a while my BFF dated a guy who drove us home from dinner in her car, one night when she didn’t feel like it. She had this ridiculous VW Golf with no power steering and when we came to a corner, he made a whine and she reached over and MOVED THE…

When you have trouble hitting those high notes and your car’s like “Don’t worry I got you, fam”

I have asked my wife not to apply her Hillary bumper sticker to her new car because I fear what a Trump supporter would do to it.

Me too! Trumpettes are frightening. However, one d-bag in my neighborhood took the time to put up Trump signs on wood light poles about 20 feet up so it would be hard to get them down. I’m thinking paint ball guns...it is public property.

She’s not wrong, unfortunately.

Same here, my dad’s in a swing state and won’t put up a Clinton sign because he’s concerned someone will knock over his mailbox or worse.

Raise your hand if you have used this move on your creepy relative. ✋

Well, that clinches it. I won’t be voting for Bill Clinton in the 2016 election.