If only they had guns in the house so they could defend themselves...

Oh my god that middle ground is the WORST. We have this “family friend” who shows up at all our family events (invited or not) and gives me the heebie jeebies. It’s been a laundry list of things for years now that never quite cross the clearly marked line in the sand, but still give me that awful feeling. And of…

I used to have this really religious friend, with whom I had the following conversation:

Wait, you aren’t talking about Philadelphia, PA are you?

This is a thing! My uncle is the same way, he worries that “people will think he has some sort of...’problem.’” -eye roll-

Ugh. Where I live, there aren’t many sidewalks. So yeah, sure, run on the road if there’s no flat grass or dirt next to the road - we all gotta make do. But when there is a sidewalk, USE IT! That’s a people space, for people feet to be on!

I’m an Annie who has gotten all sort of weird spellings: Amy, Amie, Anny, Any, Ani. Like WTH people?!!?

Nice guys who buy tampons? This is a thing? My boyfriend will not buy me tampons, he’s too embarrassed. I remind him that obviously they’re not his, but, you know, vaginal connotations.

Sure, why not? It looks to me like the sculptor was trying to make a spider then kind of gave up part-way through.

Women also developed lead-based makeup, so.... uh...

Aaron Carter has become CGI.

Today a coworker very sheepishly admitted to me: “you know... I hate to admit it... but I actually kind of really like that black show, Empire.”

Isn’t one supposedly a pro? I mean, I’d do a lot of things for money. Maybe even look at Cruz naked.

Oh god so relevant right now. Just last week I pointed out that my company has a massive diversity problem. The response from the HR rep? “Um, no we don’t. I don’t see it. I don’t know why you think that. And I think that if people are hiring people that aren’t diverse, well, I think that’s personal, and not our…

I mean... I’ve been cursed with nasty recurring bladder infections (complete with like, 100% blood pee) so I feel like it’s a trade off. The universe gives me one awful woman-problem but not the other.

I’ve only had I think two yeast infections in my entire life (instead, I get several UTIs per year - but luckily no problems with yeast after taking antibiotics). They were AWFUL so I totally understand.

I’ve never really understood how someone can lose track of their “number” unless it’s pretty high. And not because it’s a big deal but because, I don’t know, it’s a life experience. To me it’s like being asked how many countries you’ve visited. You might have to take a moment and count back, but you should at least…

I’m a vegetarian. My dogs and cat eat regular pet food. I made a conscious choice to not eat meat, and I can do so in a way that’s healthy. They aren’t subject to my dietary decisions, and it’s not healthy for them to follow my diet. Kind of the same reason why they don’t get to eat doughnuts but I do. Or chocolate. I…

Ya’ll didn’t mention that the best, fastest way to get preggo is to not want to be in the first place.

Ugh, hits so close to home. My boyfriend brought home some girl last summer and I only found out about it because his friend called me to spill the beans the morning after.