[Dog]: *Puts on helmet*

"Aaaaaaaaaayyyy!"

I think you're giving Goodell way too much credit. He's a sanctimonious tool, and the fact that he makes twice as much as the highest-paid player in the league, for being a humorless, up-sucking toady, while the actual players are taking all of the risks and doing all of the work, is a complete fucking joke, and one…

It's almost as people are killing themselves in an effort to make sure that FIFA gets their dough.

Sepp Blatter's compensation was not available because human souls are usually off the books.

"Butt-faced shitbag" is probably the most accurate description of Cowherd in existence.

Remember when Ronnie James Dio stole Neil Young's hat?

Yes, that's the important thing.

Optics are bad, think it's a borderline foul though. If you slow it down it looks to me like the defender has landed before the Boise State player jumps into him. I can see why you would call it, but I don't think it's a slam dunk either way.

;)

You noticed the part where she was returning the second overhead smash in a row but was prevented from doing so by an official, yes?

Oh, my bad.

Oh, my bad.

You act like I work someplace where I can't say whatever I want about anything at any time.

The fact that the dumb white guy's last name was "Ferguson" pretty much proves that the universe has an inherent drive towards irony.

Breaking: Man Inexplicably Retires From NFL, Shows No Signs Of Brain Damage Or Decapitation, Is Unamerican

Does this comment section depress Deadspin as much as it depresses me? Good analysis in the article; confirms I'm better off watching the NBA.

You're seriously arguing with a straight face that any 18-year-old in the US who chooses college basketball over a $25k NBAD salary or a hugely uncertain outcome in a country where they don't speak the language therefore clearly doesn't care about money and therefore shouldn't get any?

Really? You were on the same team at the same school at the same time and can attest to this?