I’m sure that will solve everything.

The brother of a childhood friend of mine was recently convicted of taking kickbacks from a pharma company to over-prescribe fentanyl. He was offered a plea of 4 years. Thought white doctor privilege would save his ass in court, rejected the plea. Convicted, he’s now facing 40 years and $250k when sentenced next…

Thank you. I’m pretty sure that Asange is a Russian stooge. Paid or intimidated, it doesn’t really matter. He is almost certainly compromised, and any claim to being a journalist died years ago.

Actually, those bikes are made for the suburbs, so...

Here’s a really easy and delicious one: Heat a pan with a little olive oil and a lot of garlic on the stove, throw the kale in, drizzle a little more olive oil over the top, flip the kale every few seconds. Once the leaves are cooked down a little and the leaves are all coated in oil, mix in coarse salt and pepper…

Like a dead raccoon’s bloated carcass under the hot summer sun?

Nothing more french than a fighter jet that makes the crew bail immediately.

Too much cab. Make it a 2 door, and I’m in.

I read an article about Doritos a couple years ago that said they have been increasing the amount  of spice powder for years. Which is weird, because they taste the same to me as they did when I first had them in like 1982. They have totally blinded my sense of taste. 

I love that Tim Horton’s is the legacy of a guy who died in a drunk driving accident. Top that one, Wendy.

The Jared Factor doesn’t help.

I think it was Jim Gaffigan who nailed it: Bread baked in a dishwasher.

1980s Au Bon Pain was fucking amazing. I don’t even understand what they do now.

Through a series of unfortunate events, I ate at Subway twice today. The second time around, it was through tears.

Yass, Yass, Yass!

You think you’re better than me?

I think they might be the daughters of the kid from Road Warrior.

Thank you for posting my favorite picture ever.

Not really relevant, other than your picture: I was once in line in a grocery store behind a guy who bought one of those cans and a bunch of bananas. And nothing else. I said, “Oh, bananas Foster!” The guy and the clerk looked at me like I wasn’t the funniest asshole they’d ever encountered. 

Congratulations, I’m so proud of you! Not kidding, I’d never shut up about it if it happened to me.