Yeah, dear god did I feel stupid when I got into the second paragraph and the light bulb went on. Spot on impersonation.

Because it’s obvious that question won’t lead to any answers. He’ll say something like “Look, I have a lot of friends, know a lot of great people who aren’t always public figures so I won’t be disclosing their names. But rest assured that many people, including people in business and politics are saying <x>.”

Embarrasing, I’m Canadian & most people here know about the 13 colonies. Seriously no world history or diplomatic knowledge from this guy.

The fact that he doesn’t get that 13 stripes = 13 colonies, there is no damn hope. I don’t think he could even pass the citizenship test.

The easy follow-ups that no one asks are the ones that irritate me the most. Like last night, when Trump was answering the "how are you preparing" question. He just rambled on about how he was "doing a lot, reading a lot" and I actually screamed at the TV "ask him what books he is reading, Lauer!" It would have been…

It always bugs me too that nobody follows up with that, ever. Seems like the most obvious question ever when it’s clear that the interviewee is full of shit.

I think we’ll probably give Puerto Rico, Guam, AND Washington DC statehood all at the same time just to avoid updating the flag too many times. Better to have one shitstorm all at once rather than three over a decade or so.

“Missourra"

My favorite thing about Puerto Rico maybe becoming a state someday is the total shitfit crazy fuckstorm of stupidity that will flow forth from rightwingers over adding a 51st star to the flag and thus spitting on the historical significance it has represented since their grand-grand-grand-parents died fighting for it.

I spent five years as a town zoning officer, and this gives me PTSD. “Sir, you can display any and all the US flags you want, any size, but you still need to get a permit for your ridiculous flagpole because it could interfere with planes. Also, I cannot help you with your Home Owner’s Association rules. No, we don’t…

No one better lives in a fantasy of being the America’s greatest gift to law enforcement whilst casually eschewing the same law better than Donald Trump.

I love how he uses that instead of actual names or saying things himself. It’s either “I’ve heard a lot of smart people say Hillary Clinton is an actual terrorist who kills babies.”
OR like a reverse endorsement of something, “Lots of Mexicans love me. They say I’m amazing. I’ve heard Hispanics all over America say,…

“Can’t someone just show us all how to cook something scrumptious? Can we talk about the fall styles yet?”

When Trump renovated the Turnberry golf course in Scotland, he made sure to place an unreasonably massive Scottish flag in the middle of the property. Go to around the 13-minute mark of this video of golf pros touring the new course on YouTube, and they start making Game of Thrones jokes about it.

I can’t believe how far I read before I realized that might not be verbatim.

Truth be told, Donnie sincerely thinks the flag is nothing more than a brightly colored permission slip allowing him to shove his entitled, assholish superiority on anybody he wants, anytime he wants.

“Sorry, Ashley, but my memory only goes back about six months.”