coming out of somewhere

me neither

“I’m sorry, son, you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdoch. I’m the co-pilot.”

2 fire for the children

Context: I’m a 32-year-old observant Muslim woman of Pakistani origin who grew up in Georgia.

Rating the experience actually. Which it was clearly a shit experience so 1 star.

Keeping your dumbass opinions to yourself is part of providing personal services like driving to others.

i am here for literally any detail of this that you might offer

“you’ll never believe what happened next”

As much as I love the idea of a diarrhea catapult I imagine that you’d have to actually put the diarrhea into a water balloon if you actually wanted to achieve any real distance.

It was already annoying being mixed and looking white without this “tragic faux-latto” bullshit in the news.

"Waiter, I ordered this take hot. Please bring this back to the kitchen and rectify the situation, post haste!"

/throws ball into elliptical machines

This is the kind of poetry you hope to find on an urn dug up in someone's back yard in Eleusina.

Yes

It was Jones that made it a big deal. It was Jones that made it an unnecessary distraction and attention grab. And it will be Jones who'll have to live this one down. If he's anything like the Jaguars mascot, he'll still be taped to my basement wall two years from now, blown up to life-size high-definition and…

Also, yet another list on which the Browns finish last.

At first when you said "particularly choice excerpts", I was afraid you were being sarcastic and I was cringe-reading. And then I got very happy. Terry Crews for President.