I thought it was offensive when the officials by the goal line kept making that same gesture in St. Louis today. Enough is enough.

im just a second generation american with a fuck ton to say

What a horrible way for me to find this out

Nice finish, but it's a sad commentary on our times that the full force of the US Army can barely defeat a Canadian territory. Thanks Obama.

I don't blame her for trying to squash the situation before it took root.

It looks like he can actually see the headline and is super bummed about it

Carroll then pointed out the Rams' long-standing relationship with the military-industrial complex.

No one's slick as Gaston

I'm invading Poland later today right after my period stops.

I love that he wastes so much time with tough-guy posturing, too. He makes sure we know he'll kick an ass if it touches one of his female possessions, though said possession could save him the trouble by rethinking her tone before it gets that far.

I'd suggest a statement on how to tell cookies are done. 70% of all homemade cookies are overcooked.

Maybe. But one thing you wouldn't be conflicted about is your love of handsome free world leaders.

neither has been relevant since 1991 so it's a good match

I guess she couldn't.....SAVE FACE.

I'm so excited for Poly with a Collie to be my favorite sitcom next year!

Ask a Clean Person While Avoiding Eye Contact

I included Fleshlight cleaning instructions in my first book. I've slated a chapter on cleaning all manner of electronics in the second book. I cannot WAIT to write the section on how to clean your Fleshlight iPad case.

it's almost as if it's a joke and not actually a real term

Some of us live here, and are not terrible. I grew up here. I'm really tired of these sorts of comments. Yes, we have our problems, but "end the fucking union and kick these fools out" IS NOT A SOLUTION. You're not helping. In fact, that kind of thing is harmful. I mean, hell, it's not even fucking realistic.…