You were dressed as Kane from Alien. I was the facehugger who shoved my egg proboscis down your throat. Perhaps we can have dinner in the next 24 hours before my baby bursts through your chest.

But screwing is a dick move.

so the headline should read...again.. Belichick still smarter than Panthers GM.

Why does Adam Schefter's Twitter avatar look like an offensive Asian caricature?

It's crazy how much Deadspin trashes baseball unwritten rules, but then trashes someone for what amounts to a football unwritten rule.

"I thought they were called cougars, not panthers"

Know what they call an "unwritten rule?" Not a rule.

Because Patriots. You aren't new here so stop acting like it

Not sure how this is really news-worthy...this happens all the time and if it was the Browns no one would give a shit but right, successful teams are meanies. Oh and hes a SIXTH round pick, guy was long-shot to begin with....

Maybe if he'd used a Master Ball she wouldn't have gotten away...

......OF THE POKEMON VARIETY

The other girl still has better help D than James Harden

This is technically the third prank. The second was convincing him that playing for the Padres is "getting called up to the big leagues."

The birds knew the risk of concussion when they flew into the building.

Ha, Birds are so dumb...

Where was the outrage when the Georgia Dome was filled with lifeless Falcons for most of last season?

Bird: Don't get too close guys. I heard you can die from contact.

this one is tough to say bad stuff about.

On the flipside, I don't call myself a feminist. I never will. And I do use the term "feminazi". Why? Because I have had strangers scream at me on the street for "setting back to women's movement" by wearing a skirt. Or working as a waitress. Or choosing to be a homemaker.

If I were a man and some woman piped up with "I'm not a feminist..." I would look her in the eye and say "Excuse me. MEN are talking here" and then ignore her for the rest of the evening.

I think this is the only time I've had penis envy.