"How to ask a Boss for a one night stand."

So here's why I'm a moron - I watched this video totally waiting for her to scream "I CAN'T STOP SHITTING MYSELF!"

"I don't want anyone to fuck Mii in the ass." - Nintendo

5% off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Touche

Where on the brochure does it talk about whether or not you will be described as a "Thug" even if you are Stanford educated?

YOU MEAN THEY DON'T PLAY HOCKEY IN SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA?!

SHEER WILLPOWER

He just wants to tune into some beast mode music. HAHAHHA

In the immortal words of the great person I'm making up - My penis is here to please one person: me.

"HEADLINE: CLIP OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED 20 YEARS AGO AND WASN'T SIGNIFICANT"

Yet again, Deadspin is last to learn. We all have been praising Bridgewater for his quick release time for MONTHS.

For once, he's saying something that is true: I definitely would say anything to get laid. However, just a quick tip to Mr. DTS - usually black people hate it when you tell them you hate black people. Hope this helps!

IDK, does your ex have a one inch penis and cum within 45 seconds?

Oh yeah I was just reading about this over on CNN HAHAHA JUST KIDDING JK THAT IS ACTUALLY A NEWS SITE NOT A RANDOMLY-POST-BULLSHIT-VIDEOS-OF-NOTHING SITE

Fact: Bears eat beats.

Because, as we all know - women have problems getting men to dick them, and thus must go find strip clubs to find easily accessible penis to forcefully inject into their gaping manswallowers.

It's literally the only way I know how to live (under a bridge)

Look at all that blue! STOP FORCING SHOTS, KEVIN DURANT. GOD.

Uh yeah but she would have a sick set of stripper heels. You gotta think about all the angles here.