You had me at "vulvadoodles", Uber...you had me at "vulvadoodles."

I HAVE NO IDEA. HOLD ME.

It's an ideal friendship, people consistently talk down to both kids and the elderly, it makes sense that they'd be like "fuck it, let's hang out together and promise to not ask one another incessantly about whether we have to go the bathroom."

You old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.

I mean I'm pretty sure love is just tolerating another creature's farts, forever.

...did anyone else read that at first as "Alyssa Milano..."?

All hail the glow cloud.

But does he have his own radio show set in a mysterious desert town?

He's in good hands now; he's with the Lard. Our savior, Greasus.

Ooooooh, you fancy.

I loathe One Million Moms. They need to stick to laundering their menstrual-scented Anne Taylor stretch pants and reading their clandestine copies of Fifty Shades of Grey while the smart people talk about smart people things.

especially when her friend in the picture is clearly wearing a sign that says, "Die, Tumor, Die"?

Wait a second, they used John 8 as a supportive argument for stoning gays? Bible lesson for the day, everyone!

Been waiting for an excuse to link this. Here is a long-haired dude with the sweetest smile I've seen on the internet lately doing a metal cover of 'Let It Go'. Enjoy.

Funny you mention this. My 4-year-old daughter, who is obsessed with Frozen like every other 4-year-old girl, said this when I put on the Demi Lovato version rather than the Idina Menzel version:

NOT IF A 7ft DOG WAS THERE TO STOP THEM

My grandmother made this doll. I am glad that Kelly has cherished it for all of these years.

Ugh, I WISH I could turn my uterus off. These monthly bills, amirite?!?

I don't know why but my favorite part is "And now it's a whole thing with Jean..."

"cock-blocktopus"