I’ve never done it myself, but I kinda think that if you are giving birth you don’t need an excuse to be screaming. Pain, fear, sudden anger over the finale of Lost . . . whatever. Go ahead, let it out.

Take the drugs if you want them. You'll be okay.

I found most of them pretty easily last year. Someone’s PO box is getting stuffed with as many sandwich-chips as can be found. Preferably shipped in a monogrammed thermos.

NO

or

This goes for the ladies, too! I waited in line for a bathroom and sat down in some nasty woman’s pee. I shouted “Oh, COME ON. Pee IN the toilet.” before thinking. Finished my business and went to wash my hands. Looked up in the bathroom mirror. Caught the horrified eyes of the lady who had been in the toilet before…

I believe the point that particular customer was trying to make was “I am the result of a hate-fuck between Satan and Cruella De Vil."

I worked at a tasting room that had a pretty ample outdoor tasting area. (We had high traffic and eventually had to have a “no dogs except service dogs” rule because people wouldn’t walk their pets away from the bar to have them do their business.) I had a family at my bar — two parents, two grandparents, and a little…

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

As a casual fan of some furry erotic artwork and stories, I do wish these men had been better representatives of that fandom/fetish. Furries get enough hate without being lousy tippers.

Dammit, the only story I have to add this week isn’t all that funny or weird, but one of the first mornings I was serving during my short stint at Perkins involved numerous attendees of a nearby furry convention. They were mostly pasty 20-30 year old dudes who, while they hadn’t worn any costumes (thank fuck), did all…

Chili and beer for lunch was a bad idea.

Whenever I go to Sonic, it takes 30-40 minutes on average for me to receive my order. At that rate, a sit-down restaurant would be better.

$500 for my old sneakers? Hell, at that price, he could shit in them and email me the pictures for all I care.

I know, right? I was sure it was going to turn out that the window worker was somehow taking another customer’s order but still talking to the OP’s car.

It’s like Stephan curated BCO

My face at least once every BCO post. Thank you pee cup kid.

but Dad had started rocking in his chair and the frame had waved a white flag of defeat and collapsed under him, causing him to tilt backwards and drop to the floor. Dad’s ample carriage meant that he was now wedged into the collapsed chair and was like a turtle on its back.

All I know is that I went home that night and watched the election results wondering how many napkins Barack Obama would require for his small black coffee.