I realize you were being sarcastic but there’s a couple of ways you have gone off the rails a bit in this conversation:

If by some slight chance I make an unlikely and very unexpected career choice late in life, “Penitence Muffins” will MOST DEFINITELY be my porn name.

Keep your pillow fort dream alive!

I get that EVERY DAY*. I work, as I have announced here on BCO on multiple occasions, taking pizza orders. To place the order, the customer has to call us. We aren’t cold calling random citizens to see if they’re in the mood to order a pie, they call us.

*fidgets uncomfortably, wonders how long I should wait to bust out the Truly Horrifying Restaurant Stories entry (which amazingly is different from the Stories of Restaurant Employees Losing Fingers entry which I somehow also have enough submissions for)*

Servers understand that kids are likely to be disasters, though. It’s not about how rambunctious your kid is, it’s about what you do as a parent in response to it. If you’re stopping the kid from running around the restaurant at top speed and/or covering the table in ketchup art (sugar packets are fine, we understand…

It’s not even that bad when you’re doing service like that, because your customers get angry at the other patrons, not you!

Lovely story. This is what I wish more people understood, how delightful it is to be kind in this way. It’s fun. You get to be part of this wonderful moment, and it’s so worth whatever it costs.

But see, I feel like he would have actually guffawed at that. She was just trying to let him live his life and she awkwarded out. That’s totally in his wheelhouse. Please tell me you hiked the gorge? How fucking beautiful is Yellow Springs?

“the only way she’ll learn not to be an asshole in restaurants is if I take her to eat out and teach her the rules”

It works. That’s what I did with my kids so they could learn how to be civilized and order their own food and such.

We also traveled a lot, to the point where once when we were deplaning either in/on a…

I know that it’s great to complain and god damn do we need to vent but it’s always awesome to read these.

Two things jumped out at me:

get the ladybugs out of the room after he was gone all day and left the window open. we moved him to a different room and just waited for morning when the ladybugs left on their own. every surface was covered with ladybugs

On most days he’s a billionaire rock star but when servers cry out for humane treatment he becomes - ***FRIENDLY CUSTOMER MAN***

I second the “share them anyway.” People often share their non-food related customer service horror stories in the comments, and the good ones get lots of stars. Obviously the point of Kitchenette is food-related stuff, but the comments section goes in all kinds of delightful tangents.

Thank you BCO! As a single mom of a rambunctious 2 year old I know that 1) she’s just going to be an asshole in restaurants. period. and 2) the only way she’ll learn not to be an asshole in restaurants is if I take her to eat out and teach her the rules. I order her food first, bring my own sippy cup with milk so she…

I feel the need to brag about something, because I KNOW how hard people have it who work in restaurants and bars, so I always try to be decent and good, and tip well no matter what.

I used to work at Starbucks, most often opening with a supervisor. One cold winter Canadian morning, I arrive to open and my supervisor is not there. I wait a little then call her, repeatedly, with no answer. Now I only live about 3 blocks away, so I could walk home, but I don’t want to be accused of leaving or not…

Keith Villiardo's story achieves peak Canada.... it takes place at a Tim Horton`s drivethru, involves an eccentric yet harmless customer, and both the server and the customer act amazingly polite all things considered.