She wasn't designed that way. That just sorta happened.

Somehow, I keep blocking out the monogrammed thermoses. Then I laugh like it's the first time hearing it. Because that shit is hysterical.

I am almost willing to play single JUST TO FIND OUT THE NAME OF HIS BLOG. I bet my husband would support me in this.

"I have an educational blog" has to be a close second to "I sell monogrammed thermoses," right?

He wants to cuddle with you while you're still moist from the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of panties. **shudder**

I can't lie: I checked out as soon as I hit the word "cuddle" in the first bullet point. "Cuddle" is the "moist" of relationship words. *cringes*

That was adorable, and I CANNOT get over how pretty Edith really is in real life,

Uh, there's nothing wrong with free bread. This is America, not Portugal.

Uh, there's nothing wrong with free bread. This is America, not Portugal.

Warning: post was not gluten-free as advertised!

Maybe her parents never taught her how to be polite. You never know someone's background. Maybe in her family growing up, politeness was viewed as a sign of weakness and so she learned not to do it.

You'd think we'd be sick of all this. You'd think. But no.

For the mouth part of your face!

Pizza bagel with cream cheese seems the natural experiment. Smear of cream cheese, sauce, pepperoni, other toppings of choice, serve cold or warm.

I think that's when making an English muffin pizza is the way to go here.

At least a bowl full of that ranch, I trust.

Is the ranch dressing served in a monogrammed coffee thermos by an aggressive Italian waiter who wants to eat all your bread unless the Russian patriarch can save it first?

Dumb customer (me) anecdote time.

And not enough vegan options.