An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
Said “Fucking is one thing I do know;
now the ladies are fine
and the sheep are divine
but the llama is numero uno”

Vlasic: “It was the right call.”

Q: It was the right call?

I just left a hipster coffee shop.  It was PACKED with former Dallas Cowboys practice squad rejects talking about how shoe companies funnel money to players for NCAA recruiting efforts.

If you don’t want to watch repeated, looped, slow-motion replays of a small digit grazing a ball you shouldn’t have bought my sextape in the first place.

Itsa OK, Isa have a lotsa blacka friends!

Ichiro is my favorite player who has never played for my team and it’s not even close.

What if I told you that not all Patriots can stand up and salute?

betis fans are throwing their team under the bus.

“Don’t quit on talent,”

She’s flogged that corpse so much her LinkedIn profile lists “Grave Robber” as a newly acquired skill.

I thought that was a fairly level-headed comment, but I guess if you wanna go down this road, I’ll just channel the memories of my most recent argument with my wife about it annnnnd ok.  IT’S JUST A HOBBY! I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT, I DON’T WANT TO NOW THOUGH.  YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS OVERREACTING

Sir, the Overly-Defensive Readings we’re picking up...they’re off the chart. 

The handjob was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Trump backed out of the deal in 2014 saying “Why would I pay hundreds of millions of dollars for an EJ Manuel?  Bob Kraft told me there is a place in South Florida that will do it for $100.”

he was being cut from the team after receiving too many points in the coach’s disciplinary point system

Bob Kraft, channeling Pat Bowlen: “This one’s for me, the john!”

He reportedly told his mother that if she had a problem, she could meet him in Temecula 

First he was a replacement caddy

Semiautomatic for the Sheeple