It’s refreshing to see an encounter with ICE where it’s not the kid that’s shattered.

Now we’re just gonna pee on this little tree here and this little tree here and hey, this little tree here. Because we’re all good boys.

Flynn looks like Bob Ross. Goddamn shame they didn’t name him Dog Ross.

U.S. Soccer, which most Americans seem to only get really focused on around the biggest tournaments, hence why the MLS continues to be a paltry distant cousin of the powerful European leagues, and even Central and South American leagues, is stuck at a crossroads at the moment that it is having a difficult - albeit not…

That’s an upgrade from his time on the Patriots where Brady called him Street Rat.

I just went to Pro Football Reference to look up Garoppolo’s stats to make a shitty joke about him being overpaid, but forgot that nonsense. Instead, I will focus on the fact that one of Jimmy’s nicknames is apparently “Prince Aladdin.”

Are you familiar with the plot of the Beverly Hillbillies?

Jesus can’t put his hand over his heart for the anthem because they’re nailed to the cross.

he didn’t kneel to protest or show solidarity with anyone, but to please God

Jesus died doing the opposite of taking a knee. He was suspended in the air from a cross.

Oh shit, he pulled the first recorded “double Tebow”. Well, you know Ray, if you’re gonna do something serious, make sure to do it double

I served in the military during the Vietnam war, and my foot hurt too, but I served anyway.

Except I think they spell it “Bourtles” over there.

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

On the plus side, we don’t have to yell at them to stay off our lawns because they never go outside.

Thank God the Vikings finally have somebody hip and young to connect with their fans.

I haven’t seen an owner act this entitled toward a player since Marge Schott.

They’d better hope his son isn’t John.

I don’t get the fuss. Middle of the country’s been unenlightened for some time.

BAH GAWD, THAT’S JEFFERSON DAVIS’ MUSIC!