Why call in a professional when the amateurs clearly believe they can bumble their way to a successful Jaguars commentary? My skills are in demand in any number of venues.

He should have Czekaj’d himself before he Wzekaj’d himself.

Picture of Drogba at a USL game in Orange County that I took after the game. What a dick giving a thrill to fans!

“Hold my beer”
- The Bears

Fumbles beer
- The Jets

Recovers beer, chugs beer, shouts “69", spikes beer into ground
- Gronk

The new Big Baller shoes are out.

If I were Billy I’d have found a way to insert at least 3 cheap shots at MLS into my comment.

Dog has heard your prayers (via NOLA)

Ole Miss chancellor Jeffrey Vitter

+47 unnecessary compound - complex sentences

“Neymar is currently the world’s second-best player”

Remember you have to use that disclaimer after first bashing beliefs and being an obnoxious troll.

Pulisic’s first touch has nothing on

Nope, LaVar would be in a trash can if this were true.

Dearly begloved, we are gathered today...

Big deal. There wasn’t even a wrecked Volkswagen in his way.

Really conquered the PeeonKnees

Gifstorm simulating Tim Hardaway Jr’s reply during contract negotiations:

I think we found one of those execs.

Last year at the Savannah Challenger