But she knew you also invited Randy Weaver and Cliven Bundy.

“Technical foul for doing something I don’t understand and will never be capable of doing.” - Wonder Bread Ref

Well played!

NJ.com also noted that there is “no mention of whether the teams in the St. John’s team’s division - the JV black league - can or cannot be co-ed, though other divisions are mentioned as strictly boys or girls teams.”

I feel like there are companies that are missing out on obvious opportunities with these patch advertisements.

Eh, it’s still not as stupid looking as his James Milner tat.

“and he’s only a sophomore so I don’t care”

Big deal. His kind of game might be conducive to winning a Final Four or the occasional Olympics, but he’ll retire without a ring (unlike his brother LaLebron).

*Omitted here is “preservatives to extend shelf life.” Tebow’s only misstep was buying pre-made store-bought guac, which is frequently, though not at all universally, ass.

If this is in Houston, there is a good chance that’s HEB guac. And it’s actually pretty good.

“Wear sandals but not pay extra for guac.” -Mark 6:9

If Pop lead a coup to overthrow the current government, I would totally sign up to be in his army.

Can we all agree that Bill Simmons, regardless of current marriage status, should be the next Bachelor? Watching vapid women attempt to listen to his takes with a straight face would be primetime TV gold.

Don’t tell Jesus what to do.

You really think a Duke man would ever support a strike?

Hey man, Houston’s not THAT much of a shithole, I mean we’re no Austin or San Antonio but you can find plenty worse. (Also 100% agree with what you’re saying)

Screamer/deadspin really needs someone who understands soccer to write about it. BH is about as useful as Bornstein was at LB. The MLS bashing is a bit unwarranted. Esp since plenty of the players have proven capable in Europe. Jozy’s EPL attempts not withstanding.

We’d probably end up electing Mark Jackson.