If Pop lead a coup to overthrow the current government, I would totally sign up to be in his army.

Can we all agree that Bill Simmons, regardless of current marriage status, should be the next Bachelor? Watching vapid women attempt to listen to his takes with a straight face would be primetime TV gold.

Don’t tell Jesus what to do.

You really think a Duke man would ever support a strike?

Hey man, Houston’s not THAT much of a shithole, I mean we’re no Austin or San Antonio but you can find plenty worse. (Also 100% agree with what you’re saying)

Screamer/deadspin really needs someone who understands soccer to write about it. BH is about as useful as Bornstein was at LB. The MLS bashing is a bit unwarranted. Esp since plenty of the players have proven capable in Europe. Jozy’s EPL attempts not withstanding.

We’d probably end up electing Mark Jackson.

Three armed robberies, eh? Well he couldn’t have acted alone, at the very least he needed someone else to be the third arm.

No surprise coming from someone who’s always asking his teammates to build a wall.

Reporter: Can you describe how you felt when you were offered the scholarship and then when they rescinded it just two weeks before signing day?

New stadium building right now...done next bu next season probably if rumors are true, if not then 2018 season. Soccer clubs have to save enormous amounts of money as the taxpayers aren’t taken for a ride like NFL does here. Spurs have been penny pinching to save said money forever it seems.

Originally posted: 6:50 EST
#1 Updated: 7:06 ESP

Given what happened in last year’s finals, the Warriors are giving him this position:

Shit. I took South Florida +64

Looks ok to me

yeah, there’s no way there’s a hearing

I’m sure Jalen, Axl and Pete were all thrilled that they got to have some quality family time with him.

Millionaire cry baby. You think I can use that excuse to get out of my next shift at Taco Bell? No fucking way.

The lard is with thee.

In Rodgers’ honor, Lambeau Field plans to sell a new sandwich called the “Hail Mary.” It’s full of grease.