“The Best Scouts in Baseball” are obviously the kids in BSA Troop 637 right outside St. Louis.

You shouldn’t ingest freezers.

Forgetting the stitches, crusted blood inside the ear and nose are usually reliable indicators of a dark night. Again, this is after he’s cleaned. You must be looking at the photo on a phone. Get back to me when you get the full effect.

How Peter King and a thousand hot-takers across the nation read this:

This is an excellent take that will be drowned out by rocket fuel-level takes from fans and talking heads alike real soon. So I will applaud this before the avalanche of hate-fueled and/or point-missing retorts comes, in and out of the league.

But WHERE’S THE GRIT?????

American players have scored more in the first period here than Team USA has in the whole tournament.

Jokes on you Josh Pauls! Coach Tortorella would have benched you for not standing for the National Anthem.

Wow. And to think I’ve erroneously called it ‘Cleveland’ for years.

Wait a minute...I can’t quite make it out from the screenshots, but are they playing the Giants?

Woger.

I just looked over the Deadspin front page and it doesn’t look like they cover football any more. Sorry.

Man, that’s a good way to get yourself Siouxed.

Sorry Bill, but Kuyt is hardly a Liverpool “washout.” Six years, 208 appearances, 51 goals for the Reds. I’ll never forget his hat trick against United in 2011. You leave my man alone!

Tom, being not impressed.

I can. Caddyshack is obviously the answer.

I say we can go where we want to

Pictured: The Safety Dance

You've got to hand it to Pierre-Paul, he's certainly had to have had some serious hand-wringing over exactly who to point the finger at in this incident. First-hand journalism by Schefter is one thing, but in today's hyper competitive digital media, everyone is trying to be #1.