How do we know you’re not a serial killer? You obviously just haven’t been caught yet.

I was gonna go with a water balloon launcher and candy apples covered in razor blades.

152,408*

I would love to play Sunshine again, but not when I have to get the other 2 games with it.

Yes pancakes 💯

It’s Sept 10 2020 and your comment is still pending approval. Hello from the future.

Another way to access Personal Safety: Long press power button, tap 'emergency'. Click your name then scroll down to find the 'open personal safety app'. This will also prompt you to add the icon to your app drawer if you are so inclined.

Sharknado should have been called Sharkicane. 

It tastes like the other blue one from the pick one of three flavors to remain thing they did. I cant remember what it was called tho.

Yo, the Dr Pepper cream soda is my shit.

It does

Easist way to avoid this is to use your phone as the second step authorization instead of worry about writing down codes.

You drink beer through a straw?

I’m unhooking my Ring

Drink a cup and let us know how it goes. 

Sir Earnest Shackleton’s brother, Francis, was accused of stealing the Scottish Crown Jewels. 

I’ll admit to being that guy but if you ask politely I’ll shift to the row across the aisle so you can get out.

The correct way to deplane is to wait until everyone else is off and then take your damn time. Also don’t fly with any carry-ons.

So if you’re traveling from A to B on both Thanksgiving and Christmas you’ll first book your A to B on Thanksgiving flight then your B to A Christmas flight on your first itinerary then you book your B to A Thanksgiving and A to B Christmas on the second itinerary. Then just use the appropriate ticket each day.

How about this: Fuck the FOUR major airlines who’ve consistently nickel and dime’d us to death while performing huge mergers that are supposed to save us money. I endorse any attempt to get one over on them through tricksy booking.