The easter egg is cool, but I’m just sitting here amazed by the revelation that there was another official Half-Life expansion (developed by Gearbox, no less!) that I’ve never heard of before this moment.

It is easy for us to sit here and point out all the bad decisions that went into this, but if we’re being totally honest with ourselves, I think a lot of us would admit that could well have been us in our younger years.

Not safely, but it’s doable. Many years ago, my dad once picked up my sister and me and 3 of our friends from the local swimming pool in his Fiero 2M4.

Not to say that young women can’t also do stupid things, but I reached the conclusion in my twenties, upon reflecting on my numerous near-death experiences (many of which involved motor vehicles) that it is a miracle that any boy reaches adulthood.

I believe a word like “ditching” was inadvertently dropped from the headline.

To each his own, but you can just click the little “unsubscribe” link at the bottom of any one of those emails to get off the list.

Aw, man. I was all set to join the club, but I  draw the line at cargo shorts.

I mean, Toyota got away with this...

I can vouch for this, having recently had one of my vehicles totaled in an accident. I would absolutely not try buying a car right now if I had had any other choice.

A masterclass in what? “How not to design interiors?” I kid, but only a little. All Pagani interiors look to me like their design inspiration was a collection of the most aesthetically-uncomfortable media player skins from the early 2000's.

I haven’t played TF2 since 2014, but I suspected it was having a resurgence when my teenaged nephews asked me if I’d ever heard of it. (I do my best not to laugh in these situations, similarly to when one of them tried to explain to me what it meant to “grind” in a game.)

Let’s not overlook the fact that Goodwill didn’t claim they would do any of those charitable things with the proceeds from the auction, just that they could. A really nice-sounding, and also non-committal press release.

“...I had bunch of Hot Wheels growing up.”

Agreed. We haven’t reached peak-grille until we can ensure that even pedestrians over 6'5" will be instant fatalities too.

Regarding PT Cruiser hate, I found this Twitter thread from a few years ago quite illuminating. There is so much more to the story than I had realized.

I kid you not, I was thinking about Jalopnik while mowing the yard a couple days ago and thought to myself, “Man, I haven’t seen a $kaycog comment in a long time...”

Perhaps the deeper question is whether the Fast and Furious franchise would have ever been made in a world without Gran Turismo.

I rode in a few trunks back in the day. It was the setup for our favorite Sonic gag where the carhop brings the drink and the driver says, “Oh, that’s for the guy in the back.” So the carhop goes to the window of the guy in the backseat and he says, “No, no, it’s for the guy in the very back.” And then the driver pops…

I think the problem with cars, though, is that the odor gets down into the foam of the seat cushions, so you think the smell is gone until you get in and out a dozen times with the seats “exhaling” every time you shift your weight.

Naw, man, a true Jalop will hold out until Ford announces a Bronco wagon.