EDIT: I could do it if they invented a car where the driver sat in the back and the passenger sat in front. And below, maybe. And in some kind of wire cage.

It had to be targeted, I highly doubt some random MAGA deplorables would recognize Smollett as an actor on Empire...

Even more sad that the woman has a 2 & 4 year old that no longer have their mother. 

“I know my work helped many, many people because they’ve told me so,” Matheson wrote. ‘But I’m sure I’ve hurt some people too.’”

I just read his full post, and will break with my usual thoughtful caution and go with the hot take. Fuck this fucking guy.

“I know my work helped many, many people because they’ve told me so,”

That guardian should be investigated for child abuse.

You could have just not typed this out, you know.  What the fuck was the point?  Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, people like you are why we can’t have nice things.

I really wish you could enter a plea of “this law sucks” in addition to either guilty or not guilty.

For real. I would consider letting this go to trial and see if a jury of my peers would convict me. 

Let’s not. Let’s just not have deductibles. Let’s just have real fucking first world health care like every other civilized goddamn country.

Reason 1,000,000,000,000,002 our healthcare and justice dept are in need of reform. She helped a sick student. A student that has a superintendent that cares as much as her is lucky.

I don’t think you could have a prouder moment than turning yourself in because you fraudulently obtained some medicine for a poor and sick child.

I can’t stand any of that Jersey Shore nonsense, but Situation was on a season of America’s Worst Cook and it was amazing. Never thought I would end up loving the guy so much, but he came across as just incredibly sweet. He was really trying too and Anne Burrell would call him Mike, Michael, or Situation depending on…

having watched the jersey shore reunion or whatever it was called I agree man the situation is all sorts of humble now and seems to truly be grateful about his sobriety and having the opportunity to help others.

I don’t know, Liam from OneDirection and Cheryl Cole was fuckin WEIRD, and now he’s apparently flirting with Naomi Campbell. Dude sure knows how to flex up.

This obsessions with Pete Davidson’s junk is fucking creepy as shit.

Doesn’t Vinny from Jerz Shore supposedly have a 10 inch dick too?

So, do Dirt Bag editors just... not look at what their coworkers are doing? Because this Pete story was covered in a standalone post a week ago. It’s part of his standup routine now, he’s going to be repeating this joke ad nauseam for months, please don’t make me read it again.

Every time Pete Davidson talks about his dick, a shelter animal dies.