Jack Black is great.
A lot bag on him just cuz he’s pudgy, but the dude’s funny as hell and can *totally* sing.

I was explaining the whole Wiz/Kanye/Amber/Blac Chyna/Rob/Khloe/Kim thing to my wife yesterday and said it seemed like something out of Shakespeare. She responded, “No, because Shakespeare can be followed. This is a Russian novel.”

I love this Angelina+Jack Black friendship more than life itself.

His lack of talent really is nearly as offensive as his gross predatory behavior. Rita Ora is very lovely and has a beautiful figure. This picture makes much of her upper body look deformed.

Wait! HOLD ON. Rita Ora human person who does ____ has BREASTS? Holy shit. I was under the impression that she didn’t. I was under the impression two godzillas were hanging off of her chest. WHAT THE FUCK.

“From now on, I respectfully ask you to refer to me as Jen, Jennifer, Ms. Herold, or your opponent.”

Sweetie? Sweetie? SWEETIE???

That’s sweet. Concern trolling coming from someone who looks like an Ogre.

oh honey i just can’t. her voice gives me the heebie jeebies. i dunno if it’s all the auto-tune they use these days but her voice sounds like mild croaking to me.

Aw, jeez, come on. I identify with sloths, but I’m not Rachel Dolezaling myself into a sloth, the way this chick is into a cat.

“I JUST DON’T TOLERATE IT.” preach, girl!!

This is simplistic, no doubt, but she’s still right about the value of letting go of other people’s judgments. And I really like what she said in another Time piece that they link to in this one:

Awwww congrats to Tyra and her family. What a beautiful statement about their own joy while recognizing all the others who may struggle the same way but without the means to do something like that. Good for them!

The more someone insists they’re “one of the good ones,” a “nice guy,” the more I become convinced there is a torture basement in their residence.

I just broke up with someone and now I guess I need a revenge baby.

This revenge baby thing is false. Revenge is a dish best served cold and as far as I know babies must be served at 98.6 degrees.

And today I found out that Van/Kevin married Sarah Shahi. Huh.

My sister accidentally sent me to a scientologist rehab (for substance abuse) and I can attest to the fact that they actually do the “feel my hands,” then you say “thank you.” It was a HORRIBLE 4 months but I saved all the books and workbooks to write a memoir/tell all thing. Also don’t get me started on what they…

I lived for Grease when I was a kid. My dad had a black market betamax tape of it (oh yeah!). We literally watched it every day. Then I watched it again when I was an adult and was like HOLY HELL! It’s really, really dirty. And I had NO IDEA.

Also, posting this pic of ONJ at the premier because it’s perfection. She…