Stop procrastinating and quit being a flake - now read these 1,500 words while you’re supposed to be getting shit done at work.

Tourists. Real NYers know the space between cars is for smoking weed or pissing.

Mutant League Football anyone?

This is exactly how you end up living with your auntie and uncle in a town called Bel Air.

I'm really glad to see NFL teams finally taking a stand against domestic violence that is caught on video.

“Neverfore.”

Watching grown men fight is probably a welcome respite from spending your time and money enabling your ungrateful kids to be mediocre at sports.

It would also be a good place to sober up, what with Carmelo hoarding all of the shots.

He should come to the Knicks. There’s no need for the point guard to drive in the triangle offense.

Some of the best hate* is irrational.

If only there was a fitting expression to describe a postal worker becoming violently angry.

“Rudy Gay who is way underpaid”

Sometimes a rolled up hundred dollar bill just isn’t fancy enough.

a chance to move PAST the Eastern Conference Finals

HE IS BROKEN IN HALF! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!

There is so much more that could be said about this game.

The powerplay goal Callahan scored against the Rangers was a direct result of the ref completely missing Stamkos’ hit on McD, and got them on Kreider’s retaliation.

Are you trying to imply that these Ducks possess great and impressive power or strength?

When is he gonna get the call to the bigs?

It worked for Delonte West tho...

“If he’s doing charity, why does he spend so much time acting like a god damned frat boy?”