From... somewhere on the internet... ahem....

The fuck? It was obvious from the first commercial for the show what it was going to be.

I’m pretty sure my step-dad’s rationale was along the lines of cheaper, also. Dude was cheap as fuck. We weren’t rich by any means, but he coulda come out for some real mayo.

Yeah, there’s nothing at all wrong with it. It’s just not anything new, and “assembling” is an odd choice of descriptor for the process.

I can’t imagine any sandwich shop in the US using Miracle Whip instead of mayo, without fear of being run out of town on a rail. I think Miracle Whip is considered more as a base for creamy dressings than a sandwich spread for a majority of people. As a kid, I thought MW was mayo because my step-dad preferred it. Once…

Fry one up in a pan with butter and get back to me.

Make them like you would crab cakes. I do it with those envelops of salmon all the time. Can’t imagine tuna would be much different.

Also, isn’t “assembling” pretty much the basis of Sandra Lee’s old “cooking” show? She’d grab pre-made cakes and shit, gussy them up with gum drops, pour herself a martini and call it a day.

They never stay on the burger anyway, so what’s the point? Fuckers just squirt out the back of the bun and lay all limp and pinkish on the plate. Worthless.

Miracle Whip is an abomination!

Because mayo is fantastic on burgers. Dip that in some ketchup and it is sublime.

“Better” is a subjective opinion, Mr. Dictionary. You should know this.

You have me wondering if we live in the same place. There is a burger joint with the same hours very close to where I work and live, which has a line out the door until they slam them shut.

Croutons are a crossover item. They can be a topping or a standalone snack. I will fight anybody who argues otherwise.

You’re a fucking moron.

My step-dad made us all hush the fuck up when it was on and I never understood why. I wasn’t even 10 yet when the show finished up its run. A few years later, as a teenager, I fell into the show after school and realized why my step-father was so into it. All these years later, if I see MASH is on, I’ll stop whatever…

When I make them on the stove top, I usually soak them for a good 12 hours, changing the water frequently. Never have a problem. I’ve only made them in the IP once, and thinking back on it, I don’t think they cooked long enough. They weren’t as soft as they should have been. I’ll have to give it another try.

Babies have as much of a right to stand their ground as any red-blooded Floridian!

The one you make at home probably tastes better and is 100x healthier than anything coming out of a Papa John’s oven.

In most places, yes they are. I don’t know how it works in a more fancy-pants establishment, though. Maybe they have marble coasters on the bar that cost a grand a piece?