Why leave it to chance? Rack up as many as you can, any chance you can, in every damn game. If it didn’t matter at all, all the “they scored too much!” whiners may have a point. As it stands, you do not.

Goal. Differential. GOAL. DIFFERENTIAL. GOAL DIFFERENTIAL!!!!!!!

Is this the “South Detroit” the celebrated bard, Steve Perry, sang about in his masterpiece, Don’t Stop Believing?

When my girlfriend and I first got together, she was somehow under the impression that I was not a feral pig when it comes to food. I think because I really enjoy cooking and had made her a few pretty nice meals up to this point. A few months in, she’s having some friends over for dinner and we were having a sundae…

This isn’t only in the south, nor is it limited to small towns.

Mine’s usually a bag of SmartFoods white cheddar popcorn, and a bar of some form of Ghirardelli chocolate. I used to keep Fiesta Sunshine snack mix in there, too, but the hippie organic food store near my office stopped carrying it and replaced it with some bullshit called Tailgate Crunch, which isn’t even worthy of…

Just don’t drop the comb, Vern.

It’s been years, but if memory serves it was the potential for further, much more sever injury that did it.

This is exactly correct. I’ve not met many people who are like this, but I can assure you that I count not a one of this sort as a close friend.

Right?? Those fuckers cheered for the injury the ended Michael Irvin’s career!

Thanks. I figured it did, but I sadly am not in a position to have a grill and have never tried it.

This is likely meant for roasting corn in the oven, which is what I do. When you take it out and shuck it, the husk and all of the silk come off cleanly. It’s like magic.

I was more excited when a friend passed it along to me than I probably had any reason to be. 

This is perfect! Are you aware that there’s a Hall and Oates Emergency Hotline? If you’re having a shit day, call it up and you’ll get one of their songs delivered right to your ear to ease all your troubles.

This is the only correct answer.

Do you find altercations with billy goats to be a feasible form of recreation?

I mean, you can tell yourself this and believe that it’s true, but I know it’s not in most cases. That being said, I tip more than the average for service, so save your self-righteousness.

Always hope for an OZ reference whenever Ryan O’Reilly is mentioned. Have a star.

This is the best comment!

You have way more faith in folks than I do :)