I guess this guy didn’t know you can’t go to jail for white collar crimes

It’s none of my business who he sleeps with. Although I bet Matthew Broderick is pretty upset.

Errr, no. Why the fixation with the Bronco II form factor? Either the second or third gen look allright as well, if not more:

The U.S. will send 48 rowers to Rio, they will be as forewarned and forearmed as the federation can make them

when I find the box containing Drew’s ashes and two c-cup implants behind a dumpster at Chipolte, I’ll throw a hipster wake and we’ll all eat that pepperoni cream cheese football and throw up later.

I’d definitely take the triple crown because then I’d be as fast as a horse.

This summer, I vacationed in Vermont and everywhere I went there were signs that said “Grade A Maple Syrup.” So one afternoon, I went into one of the stores and took a few samples. I honestly didn’t know where to begin! The A-F scale seems played out, and I didn’t want to be pretentious about it, like Pitchfork, and…

As someone whose office bathroom has an odd number of urinals, I can tell you that middle relievers should all be summarily executed.

Guess we know where MJ has his money on this bet.

Yea, you’re right on every count.

Oh, great. Another Duke hater on Deadspin.

DNA.

I’d love to see them succeed, but I’d hate to see them fail. Because really who knows where that missile is going to land. I trust neither their ability to get it right, nor their integrity to actually fire it at a meteor, vs ‘oops we nuked Turkey/San Francisco/etc.’

Here, me: I make the coaching motions with my noise mouth. The brain is where I live. I am crouched on the rim of the sun, observing humanity. I am the potato lotus, flowing. My beams are the beams of my teams, shining into their humanity from benches and boxes. Will I teach them the secrets of the trapezoid? I will…

Luckily Hope Solo drew up the paperwork. All of the boxes are very large and already blacked in.

He stated to me, “I’ll slap you in the face with money you fucking Cuban.”

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

Got my guys monogrammed flasks.

Well this is absolutely despicable, and you should be ashamed of yourself. No way you had the express written consent of the National Football League to post that Tweet/Vine.

I hope Jim Tomsula sticks around for the 16-17 Funbag season.