Actually, i take money out of tip jars, stab the homeless and actively try to make the world a worse place.

I once pulled a guy out of his truck after he crashed into me, fishtailed and flipped it a few times. Threw his bottle of beer into the woods too. Asshole never thanked me. Lesson here, don’t save lives. It’s not worth it.

Or return the favor by gently and lovingly ass raping the guy.

John Rocker happily accepts your money, and your sandwich, and a ride, and a nice place to sleep in the winter.

Perhaps that’s something we should Focus on.

Both are just being Bad Boys. I would think that this has created a Hitch in their personal relationship. It’s a shame really, as both should be free in their Pursuit of Happiness. Instead, they have chosen to square off against each other in the center of twitter town as if this were the Wild Wild West. This feud…

“...with it’s LUXURIOUS and MAGNIFICENT offices and OPULENT, TOP OF THE LINE, break rooms.”

(Not Jim) Rome

Knowing Magary’s proclivities, crossover stories like Mark’s are a sure thing for inclusion into this series.

Bill Simmons, is that you?!

You just yada yada’d over the best part. (apologies if the “best part” relates to your handle, in which case, I’m a monster and apologize).

Synder’s Jalapeno.

You’re goddammed right about that.

Baseball Tonight?

or High Times.

That kid took a shot in the face, sure, but did Donaldson give him a basket after?

Michael:

What you should take issue with is the fact that the way the Debt markets are used and private equity deals are done is anticompetitive and destructive to the markets. If antitrust law were actually enforced in the US, most of these equity club deal participants would be litigated into oblivion. With a few…

Come now. Terrell Suggs wouldn’t bite someone’s toe off. He’d bite their finger off.

Does this take into account the truck hitting the brakes and cutting hard right, doing a COOL 180, and then having the pitcher deliver the pitch as the bed is lined up with home plate?

I opt to lie and tell people I’m a janitor. It has more gravitas, ya know?