Behold, your Leader:

Stop arguing semantics. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're anti-semantic. My struggles in life have been due to the actions of semantites like you.

This is a very astute point. People who hold the doors should be stabbed and left for dead on the platform.

So they're not using lights on the board like the movie Money Train?

To be fair, Nightengale mentions it, but in the form that it was an "accident." Yup, accidental. He accidentally drank thirty five shots of whiskey, accidentally hopped in his car and accidentally felt nothing as his head went through the windshield.

Ok then, carry on.

You trying to kill Magary or something?

He's the Ever-Present-European-Football-Player-Rapist

Does the football in your name refer to soccer?

Sources indicate the video shows Stevie Wonder going over game footage with Dez. Also, paying Dez's mother for sexual intercourse.

He killed the dog first. Then asked.

In between, like a semi?

One of the secretaries in my office leaves the volume on and her ringer issome odd song that sounds like a 70s TV show theme song. My office used to be across the hall from where she sat. I asked if I could fire her. I got a new office instead.

Burger King: The milkshake machine is broken.

Montero: My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken me?!

Teammates were reportedly upset when he flipped over the locker room concession tables.

At least it contains something they can fuck themselves with.

Feel a longing sense of shame that you somehow are an approved commenter while I am still relegated to the grays.

Why wouldn't Pitbull cheat not by using a weapon, but by blinding the pitbull with powder in the eye, a la Bloodsport?

"What a dapper fellow!"

Everyone who makes this mistake should get a handicapped parking sticker.