You’re single because you’re an asshole who can’t stay sober or hold a job, you hurt people, you use fake suicide threats as a form of manipulation and control, and you blame everyone else for your inadequacies.

Except that you haven’t seen him since June. His vocabulary has become much more extensive since then. Quit pretending to be a good dad on the internet.

Shit. We live in the east side of Indianapolis. Same. It’s a Tuesday.

Hey there.

Not Malort!

As long as she didn’t die during the rain delay, it’s probably fine. RIP

Can’t blame him for wanting to go out with a bang. “I’m gonna bang you, and I’m gonna bang you, and you, and you.” Dude straight Oprahed his dick to the whole dugout.

He could fuck me more often. It’s those damned cocktails though.

You’re only getting one side of this. I’m the one with the problem, yet he’s tearing me down to strangers on the internet in a forum where my posts are hidden until someone decides to get me out of the grays. I can’t even defend myself here!

Excuse me? YOU like projects?

As your girlfriend, honey, let me just say fuck you. Facebook isn’t my diary. Deadspin isn’t yours. And to all of the folks saying I am well on my way to being the ex girlfriend, that’s easy to say when you’re responding to a few sentences and have no idea what the whole picture looks like. He will get in a social…

It’s gonna be awesome! 70th anniversary!

Ah!! That kid is a neighborhood legend here in Irvington!

This just looks like an average Wednesday night to me.

I’m so glad my dad was a psychotic asshole my whole life. Retirement has led to him growing some of the best pot you’ve ever had. Old people fucking love gardening.

My family is very liberal. We’re from Massachusetts, and it doesn’t get much bluer than that.

We’re not even speaking to family that’s defending him anymore after the video leak. We’re like, “sorry grandpa. You don’t get to see your grandson anymore.”

I’m 34!

The problem is that 85% of Americans don’t even know what those nonglamorous positions do. I also made up that statistic. Every two years I vote for Dem State Representative Dan Forestall. We play kickball together, he’s my neighbor, and he’s a local firefighter. I have no idea what his job is, but he put a sign in my…

He can grab my pussy if he drops out of the race. All I’m saying about that. (I probably have more to say)