Benjamin Franklin. I’m dead. You win, as always. Never stop writing, this is life-affirming. 

No, it’s gone on FAR too long with Ken Holland. Yzerman is the prodigal son... he would come in and be doing the grinding, what needs to be done, not bailing on the team. Holland bailed on the team when he committed to its past at the expense of its future by locking down what USED to be NHL near-royalty. 

I don’t think the original idiot poster is good enough at sarcasm for other people to pick up that it’s sarcasm. It came across pretty serious until the bit about the gun. Other than that it sounded pretty victim-shamey to me. 

Ok

You’re right! They’re based on policies enacted and signed into law by presidents who think restricting fiscal free-for-alls and sensible consumer protections are good things. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane: Bush handed Obama a disaster. Obama signed all kinds of laws and placed all kinds of restrictions on…

Fixing the fucking economy was pretty cool. Now we’re headed for another disaster. Cooler! Good thing we’ll be going into it with Russia having some crazy new subs...

Straight up he might be a lizard now. Or an alien or a robot. He for suuuuuure isn’t of the same mind that said GWB doesn’t care about black people... for damn sure isn’t. With Trump’s track record though who knows, he’ll probably name Kanye Surgeon General or Ambassador to the UN. 

Now, Lagers and Pilsners in general I think are trash - regardless of the brewery, so if you disregard those....

DEALS! FROM THE FUTURE!!!!!

DEALS! FROM THE FUTURE!!!!!

Criticinception! We’ve arrive and you brought us here! 

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE THIS GIF STOP SHOWING UP ON EVERY SINGLE KINJA PAGE. 

What’s wrong with his hair? Shawn Spencer has that hair. Don’t you go messin’ with Psych, now. 

Imagine thinking you were about to take a delicious bite of THIS and instead you get the one with mayo. I’m dry-heaving. 

He’s worth TONS of money and yet he CHOOSES to make himself appear like the kind of guy that makes you uncomfortable in an Iowa truck stop by choosing the urinal right next to yours, despite there being many others available, putting both hands up on the wall above the stall, audibly farting, sniffing it,and then…

Or it’s them wishing him well in the steps he’s taking to not being such a fucking douchebag asshole. Sometimes people get redemption. Now if you REALLY want to get NITTY GRITTY, the order of the names was a little backwards. The NHL is the classiest of ALL the leagues, don’t even get me started. 

Man I kind of like boat shoes. FUCK. 

30 years of this horrible team. We know what will happen. 

Are you a Magnificent Bastard? The kind who like shenanigans?!? 

To upgrade everything on your list (my personal preference anyways):

I despise everything Woodford Reserve but the Double Oaked is one of my favorite whiskies, period.