I will automatically throat punch anyone who says that there is no such thing as global warming cuz it’s snowing in April. 

The first state that should get the primary should be Florida. It’s the state that most represents the American mindset. Plus think how it would thin the field as Presidential candidates are stabbed to death by bath salts junkies or eaten by gators.

It’s funny to see Mike Singletary, who actively wore a Ned Flanders sized piece of the true cross when he coached the 49ers, be so anti-Christian.

The only person who saw all this coming was Tony Romo. 

There’s no way a ball bounces within two inches of Edelmen and doesn’t touch his beard.

Are you sure he’s not just being “scrappy”, providing some “intangibles”, or showing his high “basketball IQ”?

Get up-ish, young fella.

that’s right, check out #14 in the first clip for proper jump height safety

Yeah, a framed printout of a digital ticket that is 70% ads and 5% barcode is definitely the same thing as having a physical ticket as a souvenir.  Sure thing. 

Bold, I like it

My “hack” for ending parties at my house is to invite no one over. Then it’s just me and when I decide the party is over, the party is over. See, no awkward trick to trying to get guests to leave, and no cleaning up after other people.

If the host doesn’t end up being Gritty, I will be fucking pissed.

Gruden decided to make his bed with Sanchez as his No. 1 guy, and an off-the-street guy as his No. 2, for reasons that will never be explicitly articulated.

Kanye?

How is this dickhead still allowed on twitter?

Revolutions aren’t generally polite.

Fuck Ted Cruz and his supporters forever.

As a Texan I shouldn't know what these things are, However I married an Iowan so of course I've had loose meat sandwiches many times. They aren't bad, but I don't get the obsession. For my wife though, it's less about quality of the sandwich as it is about nostalgia for her home. The corn, however, really is the best…

Don't eat the salads at any restaurants. I've been working the food industry for 66 and 1/6th years. Each "lettuce" leaf is made from the spines of dead baby capybara fetuses. There's a factory in Regina, Canada that processes these spines. First they crush them into a fine powder that is mixed with a by-product of…