I say: run ‘em into the ground. Go for 73. Go for 75! But that’s just one of many reasons I’m not in charge of a basketball team.

huskies

Pooping time is for reading, not listening. Nobody’s out there grabbing their headphones and firing up Pandora on their way to take a dump.

“Riley, I too am a pawn in a game I don’t quite comprehend or control. The tall overlords told me to show you this.”

That must be the most infuriated she’s been in all her 4 years as a Seahawks fan.

Friends say Philips lived by the golden rule.

Dear Blair Walsh,

Pen names aside, Drew’s writing has really improved.

Whenever the End Times come, we need to make sure we save Antonio Cromartie for re-population purposes.

Oh come on, like you’ve never immediately discarded a jack sock seconds after finishing

Your answer is informative, helpful, and non-judgmental. I hate it and I hate you, too.

RBIs! Yes! Take that you fucking Rs-B-I heathen fucks!

There is no more overblown an analogy than supposedly how different Guinness is in the US vs. Ireland and the rest of the world. The differences are subtle and nowhere nearly as distinct as many would try to have us all believe. Also, this worn-out mantra ignores the entirety of package sales, where the beer drinker…

Angry Orchard is called “Angry Orchard” instead of “Sam Adams Hard Cider (Hahd Cida?)” basically because Jim Cook was too embarrassed to put his name on it.

I think it really depends on how the sports writers factor in Griffey’s addiction to brain and nerve tonic.

"Humpback"

Akuchi Koo

Ugh, you pointing this out made me check out Matthew Berry’s wikipedia and good god, is it depressing. Thanks a lot, pal.

I thought this was an oddly specific joke until I googled it.

We all know you hate Oklahoma, and the food there tends to be atrocious, but in 20+ years living there, I never saw that on a menu.