my initiatory new york experience was leaving a cellphone in a taxi & having it returned after 48 hours of careful tracking & murky phonecalls in confusing dialects.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I KNEW MY GIRL WAS AWESOME *hugs*

no. restriction or extreme amounts of pressure applied in certain areas feels AH-MAZING.

love this girl. #sorrynotsorry

you know what? i'm just reading the comments on this one. i have NOTHING to contribute here, folks. NOTHING. *shifty eyes*

OH GOOD NOW I HAVE TO READ THIS

i always tell my best female friends—who've dated droves of complete garbage—that we're our own worst enemies. the first sign of a man treating us terribly, we immediately imbue them with attributes we're actually borrowing from ourselves. this is to say that women look for THEMSELVES in potential partners; we date…

5'7. told dude i am no wilting flower. i think he was just mad because we'd be even-matched in a fight?

ALSO (and this is my last comment cause apparently this is none of my business even though new jersey is technically closer to my parents and childhood home than philly)

look, this sucks and yes, this lady deserves recompense: they should let her keep the ebola tent.

like bowser holding princess peach in the 8th level of mario 64.

me too, jen. me too.

this was very obviously, purposefully designed like this : ambiguous, strange, not readily apparent to people who don't do this kind of thing for a living.

There is nothing even remotely funny about this.

thank you for the purrito buppy. burrito puppy. super cute.

i made the mistake of going on an okcupid date without updating my pictures. figured a 15-lb weight differential wouldn't be DEAL-BREAKING.

yep.

too bad she didn't come with a simple, non-violent and uncomplicated return policy. sheesh.

you're right? (?)

THERE IS NO WAY OBAMA WOULD LITERALLY, LIKE, ENDORSE THIS COMMENT.