another important part of this anecdote: the girl who hosted the sleepover was notorious for inviting female friends over to play and essentially molesting them. she developed crushes on each of us and would have us over to play where she would inevitably make a move that involved kissing/caressing/touching etc. this…

THANK YOUUUUUU. when i was in 3rd grade me and four girlfriends had a sleepover called "the tea party club" (KILL ME NOW I KNOW) and immediately after finishing a little princess we went to discussing boys we liked in our class and roleplaying as our crushes while we kissed.

.....but thats exactly why they should learn about it? i can't tell if you're joking or not. listen, have you ever seen Thirteen? that is an accurate representation of how many fucks i gave and how batshit crazy i was at that age. kids know how to send nude cell phone pictures, talk dirty, sneak cigarettes and violate…

EXACTLY. 50 shades of grey (gray?) exists and is currently being marketed as fuck. if you think kids cant deduce from the world around them whats going on in the very adult realms of s&m sex thennnnnnnnn you are naive AF.

this is really about how smart you think kids are. and if you were a smart kid yourself. i was nauseatingly precocious. my parents would DIE if they knew what i was up to ages 11-18.

THANK YOU. by the way, VelaShape is fucked from what I've heard. my brother dated a girl who worked in a salon that offered it. she told me the cost of smooth, cellulite-free thighs was 45-minutes of feeling like somebody set your body on fire.

i'm with you. i've starved myself stupid numerous times—no fun.

beauty, style and general intelligence are not mutually exclusive. see: finished aqua aerobics early, took a quick shower so my hair doesn't turn green, painted my toes red and drove to the ben franklin bridge to participate in a panel discussion about a new arts/theater center by the water.

YES. hallelujah. work out and see what happens! it's really not THE WORST THING.

i'm going to have to agree with bitchney on this. when i was 16 i was a total doughball. a smooth, shiny, flushed pretty doughball but certainly not athletic. i'm far more fit now, a decade later.

or she couldve eaten an entire king sized bag of cheetos before arriving at said restaurant. i agree.

this is like being tired of global warming. it's real, so get used to it?

we do like to party. and we just want to have fun.

i feel like he has launched a very successful campaign to get the women's vote.

so what are you gonna do, bury some dead hookers in your backyard to make up for lil' kim's sins? burn some slutty red thongs to cleanse your soul? wanker.

this is going to be the performance of the century. dear god, i hope i survive at least til' then.

MAYBE HE WILL AKROBAT; MAYBE HE WILL DO JUST THAT.

they should really just come in 75 cent pokeball type things that drugstores sell cheap pantyhose in. or the machines infront of the grocery store that dispense fake tattoos.

furthermore, the most you should ever spend on a thong is 2 fucking dollars. seriously. 2. unless the thong is made of diamonds and pearls on silk string, a $25 thong or even $10 thong is NOT WORTH IT.

thank youuuuu, yes. thongs are fucking gross. they are quite literally butt floss. i know the term "butt floss" is dated in a bart simpson cowabunga butterfinger comercial kind of way but there is a reason we reached this conclusion.