As a redhead, I always hypothesized that we would all know that LiLo was OK when she went back to her natural color. I am willing to admit when I am wrong.

I work at a hospital and know of lots of disgusting medical stories (most of them involve explosive diarrhea that didn't take place in a restroom), but I'm going to go with one that I was actually involved in.

I was working in a clinic in rural Africa when a kid came in with a large abscess (pocket of pus) on his cheek/jaw - roughly the size of a softball. It needed to be drained so I made a little incision in his cheek and the abscess basically exploded (think poking a hole in a balloon…only a balloon filled with pus). …

I mean...to each their own, but I just can't with this. When my grandpa died, we were leaving the visitation when Mom called to say she forgot to take off his cross pin he wore every Sunday and didn't want to forget it before the funeral. Oh, no problem, says I, and asked one of the employees if it could be retrieved.…

I was prepared to dislike this and be annoyed at anyone laughing at an elderly person getting hurt... but goddamn, this was like performance art. It's the Swan Lake of elevator falls.

Smile! Because baby/honey/gurrrl, you're too pretty to look sad, and you should focus on whether or not your face is pleasing to men.

But don't smile too much, or we'll have to kill you.

WHERE AM I? WHERE IS CALLISTA WITH MY PILLS?!?!?

Addendum: a photo of me and my bun at White Castle

What is Anderson Cooper talking about? Those things are TERRIFYING!

That's a sweet thought, but I still hate it for the same reasons Mila does. It's just plain wrong. The dude is not pregnant, period, no matter how empathetic and caring he is or how good a father he plans to be.

Note To Self: Don't be one of those hands-off moms

With an intricate system of ropes and pulleys.

I never understood how my exhausted parents (six kids) could stay up until midnight until I had kids of my own. I might be tired as hell but I must have my free time dammit. Now that I've got three under three I go to bed later than before. Yuck.

So. Many. Awesome lines!

TOO CUTE

Right, because Christians can't be bigots. No way, never.

Seriously, my brain just kicked up that whole episode for me with that one little prompt. Thank you, weird, addled little creative brain. May your free TV and radio clips never end.

You really took it that way? I hear moms say stuff like that about babies all the time and have never thought it was meant sexually, because it wasn't.

I have such mixed feelings watching this. First, disappointment that her voice isn't better. Second, delight in seeing someone dance on TV as mediocrely as me. Third, I'm still terrified of nuns. Eight formative years in a New Jersey Catholic school scarred me for life. I'm a grown woman and still run to the…

Shouldn't the Italian Voice just be a bunch of hand gestures?