I’m starting to get sick of the nice guy Obama bs. He wasted most of his first year trying to kumbaya with the right and now he’s being nice again. Just stop! No one who hates you is changing their minds. You know this IS the apocalypse. He needs to be trying to fuck this guy up during the next 2 months. Get a special…

I still literally cannot believe this man is our next president.

I once had someone yell offensive stuff at me from their car late at night, and then I watched them drive another block up the street, park their car, and walk away. So I went home, got a hammer, and bashed their taillights in.

Heckling the president at State of the Union? Not harassment.

Step 1. Go on Twitter and whine about the mean theater people.

Autoplay is always a startling and obnoxious thing when multiple tabs are open. Always takes me a second to find the right one.

I think the strategy is to promote the idea that calling racism racism is far more racist than racism. I’m dead serious here.

Not sure about that. Given how divisive Trump is and his low favorability ratings, there’s a chance to knock him off. It all depends on how he performs as President, which is likely to be poor.

I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

The first thing a dictator does is go after the media.

They’re all trolling right? They know what they’re saying and saying it just to troll. It has to be.

Expand. He buys things to make himself feel better so I’d bet he also overeats for the same reason.

Kellyanne can go fuck herself.

Stop tweeting like a vengeful 13 year old boy.

Learn how a bill becomes a law.

I’ve been trying to keep my dad’s Trump-voting wife from losing her mind while we sit in ICU and wait for him to wake up from emergency brain surgery. I voted for HRC first thing Tuesday morning and drove like a maniac to a deep red state, where I’ve been ever since. I’m doing in a bottle of red I’ve snuck into the…

Lol thank you. All the parenting books tell me they stop being total shits around 4-5yrs, thank you for stifling that false hope.

How does one not like Nutella? It sounds odd in this bun application, but it’s fucking chocolate and hazelnuts so I’ll eat it.

I’m in Canada and a lot of people here called in sick on Wednesday - not because we work with Trump supporters (obviously, it wasn’t our election) but because everyone was do depressed and disappointed for Americans and the world. Not to detract from your experiences and the impact this will have on you, but know that…

On election day this week, I found out that I got an interview with Boeing for a paid internship this summer. I was elated. It is literally the path to my dream job. I was prepared to get smashingly drunk that night to celebrate getting an interview opportunity and seeing the first woman President. We bought champagne…