I'm from Maryland and I love Lincoln and screw the Confederacy and all that it stood for. BUT Lincoln actually sent federal troops to the MD statehouse to prevent the legislature from meeting. I get why it was necessary but you gotta admit it was ballsy.

A friend told me that he and the rest of his Catholic middle school basketball team got busted after sneaking into wherever they keep that stuff and drinking all the Communion wine. And yeah, they got drunk and then hungry and ate the body of Christ. Oops.

What outrage? I give zero fux what happens to this guy. I started out by calling him a douchewaffle. My only observation is this: in NY Chelsea can legally have sex with anyone she wants. In NJ Chelsea can legally have sex w anyone she wants. If, however, someone (creepy dude or if I’m reading this right, a perfectly…

I think this guy is a douchewaffle but I admit that the laws are confusing. The age of consent in NJ is 16 so Chelsea can legally have sex with anyone she wants BUT if she sent dude a pic of her tits that's child porn and they're both in trouble. Huh?

Uh... It’s totally possible! I love cold carrot soup topped w yogurt for breakfast.

Ha! I had an older Eastern European woman fitting me for a bridesmaid dress once. Between ordering the dress and the final fitting I had surgery on my foot and spent a few weeks watching Ninja Warrior marathons, feeling sorry for myself and eating cinnamon buns. When I picked up the dress she had to squeeze me into…

I need to know more about these jaffles.

Horse sperm is expensive. Really expensive compared to beer. It’s sold by the half ML. Like one of those straws they use to collect blood from a finger prick at the doctor. The only way putting it in beer makes sense is if the brewmaster has a very special relationship w a very special stallion.

Don’t know if this counts cuz it was said about me, not to me. My boyfriend got me a job working on a crab boat w him for a crotchety, redneck captain. There aren’t many women out on those boats, at least where I’m from so I got a fair amount of surprised looks whenever we docked. I’d been working w them about a month…

Twenty odd yrs ago, my husband and I were remodeling our home. I was young and looked younger but our credit card worked just fine. Went to a lumber yard and got ignored by all the staff. After way too long I asked to see a manager, showed him my list and told him I’d be going across the street to buy it all. Soooo…

Twelve years ago when I was homeless in Baltimore and lurking around a RoFo dumpster the Krispy Kreme driver told me that any night I was outside when he got there I could have every 12 hr old donut (all destined for said dumpster if I wasn't there at drop off time). He would bag them nicely and wish me well. Thank u…

This goes down as one of my proudest moments ever: 1985, I'm in 9th grade, it's like 700 degrees in our school cuz the ac is broken, I faked a seizure in the hallway, got sent home and SCHOOL WAS CLOSED FOR TWO DAYS!!! You're welcome.

Ah, you are correct. Still not sure why that's objectionable.

I have no idea who this person is and I'm confused about why this interview was objectionable. I don't get the religious part but I just don't get most religions so that's not unusual. Old guys do have nicer shit, hairy pussies are gorgeous, she's black and unapologetic about it, yay her. And 43 yr olds who date 17 yr…

"because Hollywood is a ridiculous land of looks-obsessed plastic fantasy that values the illusion of youth over the reality of talent, "

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I feel so much better about the time I got hammered at Xmas party for staff and regulars at the bar where I worked. All I did was pick up a college student 10 yrs my junior and have very loud sex in his apt- above the freaking bar. Everyone heard as they were leaving but only one…

I can't remember the word for it but if you quit because the environment was so hostile it's as good as being fired.

I have been a server or bartender for 20 yrs. I would not do what I do for 10/ hr. I may not be getting rich but I'm not in poverty either. My bills are paid and I have money in the bank (which BTW doesn't have any problem with me showing up weekly with a wad of cash).

Thank you. I thought I was the only one reading that essay and thinking "you don't understand. He was me. I was him." I'm not trying to align myself with a famous person or steal his tragedy for myself. I have plenty of my own, thanks. But when I count the many ppl I've lost to this disease some were intimate loved…

If men knew how sexy the smell of sawdust is, they'd all carry a handful in their pocket.