Before I click, is this some kind of weird NSFW sexual fetish thing? I’m only asking because the article contains the phrases “furiously blow”, “hitting the back of someone’s throat”, and “Mark Shrayber”.

The other two things I did a lot of:

Valerine sounds like a character from Game of Thrones.

Now several young brides from Kilkenny

“I fingered that blonde lady backstage.”

Yeah like how many full minutes do you think he spent nodding meaningfully at his own tweet?

I believe people who say “thank god I wasn’t there” way more than I believe the rest. I’m pretty sure I’d be of zero help in 99% of emergencies.

Dear Ashton:

Shia LaBeouf is that friend who posts emo statuses on FB but when you ask whats wrong they say “I dont want to talk about it on Facebook”

Or 3) The actual victims, Ashton. But I guess they are less important than the saviors/would-be saviors. *eyeroll*

“I ate LA...”

I just want to clear a few things up as someone “in the know” about how airplanes and flight catering actually works.

I am doing a semester of teaching in a classroom for children with autism. I have a 13 year old girl who can and will hurt you when she is having a fit. These can come out of the blue for seemingly no reason and we all have a few tricks that usually work but none are a guarantee.

When my dog is boarded I have to go into the cage next to her because she needs a companion person.

lighting a cigarette and shouting about U.S. relations with Venezuela

I’m betting the employee took the time off without really telling anyone, just didn’t show up and then the email actually doesn’t seem so bad. “Where were you?” “I was at the birth of my son.” Why didn’t you tell anyone where you were, we had a client in and I had no idea what happened. It was embarrassing. Of…

And here, I was thinking it would be Blue Laws aka Christian Sharia preventing the sale:

Yes, what is this world coming to when employees can refuse service to customers simply based on their own religious beliefs? I’m assuming, of course, that next he’s going to go after the pharmacists and pharmacy techs who refuse to supply customers with birth control and Plan B. Right? Riiiiight?

If we want a woman?
Sally Ride. American Lesbian in space.
If we want a black woman?
JOSEPHINE BAKER. First black lady millionaire in the Western World.

Excuse me, but as a Definitely Not-Racist white person, I don’t think it’s fair that I should have to be constantly reminded, every time I go to Starbucks, of bad things from our past that I, personally, did not have any hand in, and which have absolutely no bearing on the present day, since, if you hadn’t noticed, we…