And tape the infographic to his bathroom mirror.

Awwwww, your son sounds incredibly cute. :) And hellz yeah to dinosaur nuggets.

Start them on sangria. They like the fruit. And they shouldn’t have anything distilled until they’re at least three or four.

Can someone explain to me why they need to put on a mother on the birth certificate at all? If someone doesn’t know who the father is, do they have to put down a name? I’m asking for real. It seems like a good lawyer could have made this easier for that poor kid (and surrogate).

“I want her to go on television and apologize the same way that she went on there and accused me of being a gold digger and tricking her into having a baby.”

THANK YOU. There has to be some sort of a middle ground between “any lady who shows her ankles in public or admits to having bodily functions is a dirty dirty whore” and “Hey, literally everybody in the entire world, check out my sexy picture of myself breastfeeding on the toilet!”

This is my three-year-old to a tee.

Why are you against collecting your menstrual blood in a plastic cup for multiple days and then reusing it? That’s definitely not gross at all. Nope. Not at all.

Oh my gosh... that’s just horrible!

Wait...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I’m so glad that I’m old enough to have never ever had the possibility of coming across pictures like this of myself/my mom on the internet. WHAT WILL ALL THE KIDS IN 8TH GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES SAY?

No judgement for busy moms who breastfeed on the toilet. We all do stuff in private that is a litte gross. but if you Intentionally pose on the toilet to get the right angle and set up, and then post the photo online for the mass public, breastfeeding or not, I’m going to think you are ridiculous and need to get a…

Winter on the East Coast was incredibly brutal. Not just because of record snow, but because when the huge piles of filthy snow & Ice finally melted, we city dwellers were greeted with the horror of thousands of pounds of dog shit hidden in snow banks. Even worse were the bags lying on the sidewalk. YOU’VE ALREADY…

NO MORE DUGGARS!!!

If someone is heavily pregnant, and cannot pick up dog poo, they should not be assigned the task of walking the dog.

There are communities that require residents to register their dog’s DNA. Apparently the tests aren’t too expensive and, of course, painless for the dog (i assume it’s a swab). Then they test unscooped poop and fine the owner. It’s a little Big Brother/1984 but since the technology exists, why not?

PICK UP YOUR DOGS SHIT!!! ALSO, DON'T LEAVE IT ON LEAF PILES IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE WHEN YOU FUCKING KNOW THE CLAW WON'T COME FOR WEEKS.

What kind of asshole doesn’t pick up after their dog? Seriously. IT’S GROSS. DON’T LEAVE THAT [literal] SHIT LYING AROUND just because you’re lazy!

You know, I will return to a store/restaurant and give back extra change so the cashier doesn’t get in trouble. I once chased down a woman who dropped a wad of cash in the parking lot right in front of me while digging in her purse. But a diamond ring in dogshit that the owner would have found if she’d been a…

People who don’t clean up after their dogs disgust me. Some fucker round here lets their dog shit all over the street and never picks up. By the size of the turds, the dog must be the size of a cow.