Sugar can actually operate as brain food. Not huge amounts of it to where you get a sugar high or anything, but a little sugar can actually help with thinking. It’s why after exhausting mental tasks people often want ice cream or chocolate or whatever, the brain is tired from stress and wants its fuel. Really giving…

My guess on the PB is banning it because of allergies since some people who are allergic to peanuts have it so bad that they can’t even be in the same room so a lot of school just ban all peanuts and peanut products (would have doomed me, peanut butter sandwiches were my main lunch). But calling it unhealthy instead…

Bread to go along with the potato? Say what now?

I work for Super Chill Fungus.

I used to play a game at my local Burger King called, “How will they mess up my order today?” I would order a #1 combo (Whopper, fries, soda), with only ketchup on the whopper.

They never got it right. Not once.

Highlights were the time I got two fries with no drink, two drinks with no fries, a chicken sandwich (do they…

popular chain restaurant that rhymes with “Crapplebees.” (Editor’s Note: Oh for fuck’s sake)

Then how do you distinguish those that simply have a bad makeup artist?

Endorse.

“Keep that p***y tight while I’m gone.”

It’s not so simple as that. My mom had dementia. She had been married four times, including the last marriage to my Dad which lasted fifty years. She became unstuck in time. She would often be confused about how old she was and who she was married to. She would be telling me about one of her former husbands as if they…

That .gif gets me EVERY. TIME. (And I don't even watch that show.)

It just seems like a really specific way to be anti-Semitic. "I know how I'll show those Joos! I'll passive-aggressive them to death!"

These customers remind me of the dumbest person I ever had walk through the doors of the Borders I managed after college.

I have the feeling that there are enough Iron Shiek stories out there to do a BCO just on him. He's like the definition of performance art.

If I learned anything from being best friends with a small town McDonalds manager, it's that short skinny and sweaty zombie were on a FUCKLOAD of drugs that night.

Pork Wine. The OTHER white wine.

OMG! That reminds me of the day my dad told me my mom had been fired. — since I was maybe four year old, I thought she had literally been set ablaze. I was pretty sure I was supposed to feel sad that my mom was dead, but my dad didn't seem all that fazed, so I kept my festerign grief to myself. You can imagine my…

This is not—and was never—good parenting.

And good luck with that if you have food allergies or diabetes or keep kosher or something.

The more you tour the more you'll see shoddy and dangerous venues. You'd be surprised how badly treated professional crew or tech members are treated in venues and theatres. Many of them (venues and theatres mainly) could give a shit if the crew or techs get electrocuted or if a par can falls and injures someone.…