Ha, I commented on Twitter something like, “Yay, another old white male! Their interests are not represented nearly enough,” and someone corrected me by saying he wasn’t old, he was 49. Which, yes, is young. Much younger than I thought he was from just looking at his picture. Anyway, the only thing I can think of is…

I can take you for a ride on my big, green... dick?!

Ahhh, it was a Gawker thing. I thought it was a Jezebel series. It all makes sense now, thank you!

The big, green tractor has to be up there, too. Mainly because I see someone falling off and getting run over and dying, a la “Man in the Moon”.

What happened with that, anyway?

Drop it like it’s hot to his lame, mopey “Oh, Danny Boy”... and play “Chopsticks” on the high end of the piano, then as you run out, clunk the lowest note once real good.

“Just like the heart the huntsman brings to the evil queen.”

Or telling their friends that Ken has better breasts than his wife now.

Man, fuck this guy. If I ever went to his dinner party, I would scream lyrics and twerk as he played his piano, just because he doesn’t like people to sing along when he’s having his moment.

1) This meme is beautiful.

Found Trump.

Are you suggesting they release their ass cannons of all ammo?

Wrong movie.

Counter-offer: I want them all and I will raise them as wolves.

Totally thought this was going to be about two Boxer dogs looking for and falling in love, maybe in the style of Lady and the Tramp. Disappointed.

I haven’t seen it, but I *did* watch “Finding Nemo” and remember the part where one little fish is caught up in a net with a bunch of other fish, who panic and try to swim in all different directions to escape but cannot... and then the little fish tells them all to swim together, work together, one direction... and…

1. Slap a Midol label on your dick.

It did not get browner and I am disappointed.

I’m about to click it, but just from the screenstill, I am thinking that’s awfully red... I better see the dress become browner as the clip plays on...

His mouth or the starfish hole?