So I'm guessing that in this game dick pics are like Whammies?

Having planned a full wedding when you aren't even dating is pretty fucking stupid. I would be embarrassed to have a friend who did this. They should be embarrassed to exist.

There's a huge amount of racism at play here. When they're not being characterized as sluts, black women are characterized as sexless and/or masculine. Not that there's anything wrong with a woman who's more masculine than most (and oh I could spend hours on how we categorize things as masculine or feminine) but this…

"pass" on what? Did she propose to you or something?

I think the only appropriate response to "my daddy knows important people" is, "I hear your mommy get around too." Playground to playground.

I HAVE BEEN BAKING FOR 50 YEARS MY GRANDCHILDREN LOVE MY BAKING. THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS AND THERE'S NO CALL FOR PROFANITY, YOU'LL GET CUSS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE. NOW I WANT YOU TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR BROTHER <- THAT IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF YOU WERE MY SON BUT YOUR NOT THANK GOODNESS. YOU PROBABLY THINK CAKE IS…

And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the Beasts saying, HILARY KNEW ABOUT BENGHAZI WHY WON'T THE ILLEGITIMATE OBUMMER GOVERNMENT RELEASE THE CABLES!

I don't know why I fucking lost it at "MISDERMEANERS."

"And I saw the Four Horsemen of the Comment Apocalypse, and they said in unison unto me: 'Beware the false idol Kinja and her wily ways.' And I, for my part, took up my mobile device and screeched, 'EVEN NATIVE AMERICANS DON'T THINK THE NAME IS OFFENSIVE!' and lo, the Angel Snyder smiled down on me, well pleased."

drinking before smoking, rookie mistake.

I just laughed so loud at my desk that I then had to slide down my chair and under it George Costanza style.

From my Tumblr

OMFG I can't stop laughing: http://psycosis91.tumblr.com/post/877107705…

Might be my favorite so far, just for the devil-may-care hop at the end.

Def resembles her dad.