I so incredibly hope so. For all his stupidity, he’s one slipper slimy bastards.

The “deep state spear” is Newt’s biggest fear and the terror that keeps him up at night: A big ol’ gay liberal dong that thrusts deep into the ‘Murican dream and pumps it full of rainbows and compassion. Oh! And the dong is black, and thinks that women should be allowed to vote.

Winner gets Brock Lesnar at Summerslam

I’ll go watch in my neighborhood sports bar, so at least I can have the pride of saying “I didn’t pay—sort of.” I will of course have to face the Walk of Shame afterwards, but it will be dark, so hopefully no one recognizes me.

I’m just hoping that McGregor loses his bearings, gets confused about where he is, and kicks Mayweather in the face, right before being DQ’ed.

I already ordered the PPV 6 months ago from a legitimate looking Nigerian version of Showtime. Cost me $5,000, but I’ll get that back and then some when the Sultan unfreezes his inhertance.

I’ll pay. I’ll watch. I’ll be embarrassed the next morning that I did either.

I think the most astounding part of this product launch is that Apple does NOT seem to have claimed that they “invented” anything with the HomePod.

This is very good advice, but I wonder...why are some of us this way? Is it something we’re born with? The result of some traumatic incident in childhood? I’d really like to know.

I so needed to read this today. I’m that person. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told a joke in the middle of a conversation that was not well received and I worried all day if those people were offended, or they didn’t like me anymore, etc. It’s exhausting picking at every little thing. I’ll try this.

I just want you filthy people to wash your legs. We’ll worry about scents at a later date.

Darn, I was hoping for an infographic to show what different symbols meant

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

So they’re taking the “stop hitting yourself” defense against Dao? Seems legit.

I have said this before and it never stops being true: Donnie sounds like someone trying to have a serious conversation on a ball of cocaine. I really can’t listen to him talk, and when I read the shit he said, he sounds like a puppy that has too many shiny objects and noise makers around it.

(unintelligible screaming)

I haven’t heard a fucking peep out of any of them since about a week after the election... which is about the only good thing that has happened since the election.

I have to say, Trump is making my arguments with my Republican co-workers so fucking easy these days. They can’t respond to half the stuff I point out.

It could also be getting older, but I stopped washing my face in my early to mid twenties (that’s about the time I stopped wearing makeup also), my face has been thanking me ever since.

I don’t wash my legs or my feet and I pee in the shower. IDGAF!